Captain America
Ra's al Ghul
the Question

---

[00:42] jilli: "Just because my organization is a "cult" of sorts doesn't mean that we all wear snuggies!"
[00:47] slarti: Ra's al Snuggie
[00:47] claire: REJECTED
[00:48] slarti: "Master, it's not that we doubt you, but... zebra print?"
[00:48] jilli: lmao
[00:49] slarti: Meanwhile, among my other loot was some ShamWows, which I am now picturing Batman throwing one into a Lazarus Pit and it soaking it all up.

---

[01:04] slarti: Also, snrk. This paragraph talks about various First Earth Battalion non-lethal weapons, such as:
[01:04] slarti: ["There is a special pheromone that 'can be used to mark target individuals and then release bees to attack them.' There's the Electric Glove, the Electric Police Jacket, 'which jolts anyone who touches it,' the Net Gun, and the Electric Net Gun, which is the same as the Net Gun but 'will release an electric shock if the target tries to struggle.'"]
[01:04] slarti: And all I can think is, "...This is all Bat-gadgetry."
[01:08] jilli: except for the bees, yes.
[01:08] jilli: COVerED IN beES!!! is definitely not a Batman attack
[01:08] slarti: Well, also, bees are really a deadly weapon.
[01:08] slarti: I mean, my God.

THINGS I DID NOT KNOW THAT I LEARNED FROM READING BIRDS OF PREY
- Guy Gardner has an alien clone and also a brother
- Deathstroke play postures with his guns when he's bored
- Bane was in love with Talia, too... and also Black Canary
- Dinosaurs are EVERYWHERE
- Dinosaurs > Deathstroke

---

[07:42] Claire: aka "i really don't anticipate jason showing up in the batgirl title ever"
[07:42] Claire: "just a hunch"
[07:42] Jilli: lmao.
[07:43] Claire: them having some kind of post-death robin conflict and not making it tim vs jason redux would probably be too involved for dc
[07:44] Claire: they're busy making giant bat heads to stick on bruce wayne in a fucking cave
[07:44] Jilli: fffffff
[07:44] Claire: seriously where'd he get a bat that big
[07:44] Claire: idk if that's how evolution worked, grant
[07:44] Jilli: Grant: *chaos incantation* IT DOES NOW
[07:45] Claire: ffffuuuuuuuuuu--

---

( BATMAN NEVER CROSSES THE STREAMS. )

[15:17] * torches prepares to watch the azerbaijan entry for eurovision 08
[15:17] <saucydele> nothing prepares you for that
[15:20] <FractionJackson> yeah, you can't prepare
[15:20] <FractionJackson> not even batman can prepare for it
[15:20] <saucydele> batman would probably just be like "fff" though

---

[11:21] TK: so, you Batman nerds, I'd like to know something
[11:22] TK: is Ra's al Ghul's fascination with naming everyone Ubu EVER EXPLAINED
[11:22] Jillian: uhh
[11:22] Kai: ahahaha I have no idea
[11:22] Jillian: it's a family thing? I'm not sure exactly
[11:22] TK: A family of everyone being named Ubu
[11:22] TK: that is the worst family

---

( Spores of my own UNIQUE DESIGN. )

[20:21] Claire: batman: WHERE DID I GO WRONG--oh, right. with everything, ever.
[20:22] Nat: "maybe it was that time I made jason wear chainmail panties and dye his hair like Dick's..."
[20:22] Jillian: HAHAHAHA
[20:22] Kai: sfdkjsflkgs
[20:22] Kai: THE HAIR DYE IS NOT CANON RARR
[20:22] Claire: I CAN'T HEAR YOULALALALALALA
[20:22] Nat: MORRISON SAYS SO
[20:22] Nat: YOU CANNOT DENY MORRISON
[20:22] Kai: MORRISON CAN GET OUT
[20:23] Claire: I CAN DENY MORRISON ALL DAY LONG
[20:23] Nat: he's somewhere making a chaos magic incantation to change your mind RIGHT NOW

---

( so, you're saying /I'm/ Grant Morrison? )

[12:57] Jillian: I just realized my entire image of what warehouses look like on the inside is completely formed by Batman: the Animated Series.
[12:58] Treyu: ...Yes.
[12:58] Jillian: I mean, really, it's not like I get to go visit warehouses ever? Or see full shots of them on TV. But still. BATMAN.
[12:58] Treyu: I have a few 80s movies and some Power Ranger sets to back that up, but it's mostly Batman.
[12:59] Treyu: With plenty of floor space for fighting, that sort of thing.
[12:59] Jillian: heh heh. and extra crates just hanging around for people to be kicked into.
[12:59] Kai: hahaha yes
[12:59] Treyu: Crowbars lying in handy areas....
[13:00] Treyu: The occasional fire hazard, but only if needed for the plot.

---

[19:29] Kai: it's kind of like shirtless Ra's - oh wait
[19:30] Slarti: haha
[19:30] TK: YOU LEAVE SHIRTLESS RA'S OUT OF THIS
[19:30] Kai: NEVER.
[19:31] TK: That is between him and Batman and everyone else who was around at the time, and wow that sounded worse than I even intended, but I'm leaving it just so.

---

[19:33] TK: There is a whole blog dedicated to shirtless superheroes.
[19:34] TK: ...this cover is weird, why is he holding the whole costume if Bruce is still wearing pants
[19:34] TK: Does he wear pants UNDER HIS PANTS?
[19:34] TK: How crafty
[19:35] Claire: well when you know ra's is probably going to undress you like a creeper the second you pass out
[19:35] Claire: more pants become a good idea
[19:36] Slarti: It's his spare costume. Ra's raided his luggage from his hotel room, for extra creepy.
[19:37] Jeri: HAHAHAH
[19:38] Jeri: you guys are great.
[19:38] Jeri: that's all.

---

[17:20] Jillian: SFW
[17:23] Kai: ffffft
[17:23] Kai: The Blackest Night issue of Booster Gold is EXACTLY like that (no it's not)

06:09] kai: Ra's al Chameleon
[06:10] kai: or al Gecko
[06:10] tk: Ducard cannot lick his own eyes. Just...for the record
[06:10] claire: ra's al fortunately retaining his sanity thanks to a lack of lazarus pits
[06:10] tk: (says you)
[06:10] claire: HAHAHA
[06:11] claire: seriously, just
[06:11] claire: someday
[06:11] claire: bruce and henri have to see animated ra's
[06:11] claire: somehow
[06:11] kai: fjhgfdss XD
[06:12] tk: Like I said, Ducard would never ever let him know that he was actually Ra's as well, out of fear that animated guy would be like "REALLY? YOU ARE ALSO ME?" and never leave him alone
[06:12] claire: bruce would basically turn into mjeatingpopcorn.gif
[06:13] claire: "SO THIS IS YOUR GREAT FOUNDER"
[06:13] claire: "THE DUDE YOU'RE EMULATING AND WHOSE LEGACY YOU'RE ALL OBSESSED WITH"
[06:13] claire: glowing nipples.
[06:14] tk: "shut up. p.s. your parents are dead."

---

( OH WHAT A TREE, OH WHAT A LEAF )

[20:03] tk: oh my god this sandqixh is hugwe ...ican't even hold it and ytype at gthe same time
[20:03] tk: begone sandwich. anyway it's big.
[20:04] anna: sandqixh is the most awesome way to spell that
[20:05] tk: it looks like it should be pronounced 'sand-quiche'. like it's an arrakis delicacy or something
[20:05] kai: >.>
[20:05] slarti: hahaha There's Kai.
[20:05] jilli: luls.
[20:05] jilli: she's going >.> because she has, in the past, made a sand quiche and just didn't tell us.
[20:06] kai: I only wish I had such culinary expertise
[20:06] kai: Such a mastery of spices, you might say
[20:06] jilli: but you do!
[20:06] jilli: just ask condiment king
[20:07] kai: he's not the most reliable sauce of information
[20:07] mhari: .... KAI
[20:07] kai: XD
[20:07] mhari: /punts

---

( Claire's secret. )

[09:19] Jillian: haha Slarti, I am two for two in Dr. Scott's quiz. Clearly I would be an awesome comic book doctor.
[09:20] Slarti: hahaha
[09:20] Jillian: aw I missed the third. still, 2/3 isn't bad >_> it's certainly much better than Dr. Crane.
[09:22] Slarti: So, not quite ready to be The Best (Neuro|Plastic|Cardiothoracic)Surgeon in the World, then.

---

[21:57] Takhys: Slarti, my heart, I suspect that you will appreciate this. My midterm was so terrible that after it was over (and a few beers into the recoup phase) one of the guys in my class described it thusly: 'Okay, do you know comics?  I feel like that exam was thrown off the Washington bridge and no matter how I tried to catch it, something DIED.'
[21:58] Jillian: lmao.
[21:59] Takhys: I asked him if he thought the final would just be a clone of the midterm.
[21:59] Takhys: ...and was promptly stabbed.
[22:03] Slarti: hahahha
[22:03] Slarti: Alternative response: "So, you found it was a snap, then?"
[22:03] Takhys: Boo, hiss.

---

[11:35] Jillian: /enfolds takh in a pancake
[11:35] Takhys: :o
[11:35] Takhys: I am delicious.
[11:38] Jakavedria: /nibble
[11:39] Takhys: /tastes of pamcake
[11:39] Takhys: http://www.comicspace.com/droog811/comics.php?action=read&file_id=149086
[11:43] Ariel: pamcakes is my favourite hellboy comic
[11:43] Takhys: And Ariel, you're my favourite pamcake.
[11:50] *** Ariel has left the chat.
[11:50] Slarti: She will never come back to us now.

[15:13] Jillian: haha, Slarti, I'm reading Blue Beetle #28, and there apparently exists a Grand Theft Gotham. this is SO going directly into my canon.
[15:14] Slarti: heh
[15:14] Claire: =_= fff.
[15:15] Claire: ... i would so play that.
[15:15] Jillian: That would be so awesome.
[15:16] Slarti: Wanted Levels in the game:
* - A beat cop.
** - A cop car.
*** - A few cop cars.
**** - Cop cars and a chopper.
***** - The Batman.
[15:16] Jillian: Hee hee.
[15:18] Slarti: Actually, no, I suppose that "realistically" speaking, it wouldn't work that way... Rather, every time your Wanted Level changes, there's always some percentage chance that you'll just get The Batman, even if all you've done is kill one guy.
[15:18] Claire: hahaha how much would that suck
[15:18] Claire: level 1, you're not even sure how the controls work
[15:18] Claire: surprise: batman.
[15:18] Jillian: hahahah
[15:19] Liz: "YOUR DAYS OF CRIME ARE OVER, SON"
[15:19] Liz: i want it to be 1960's batman >_>
[15:19] Claire: EXPLODING SHARK BONUS LEVEL
[15:19] Slarti: Well, to be fair, if it works like in GTA, you get bagged by the Batman, and it's like getting bagged by the cops: You lose your weapons, you lose some cash for a fine, and then you're let out to resume play from in front of Arkham.

---

( That's when you quit, change your name, and leave town. )

....jiiiiii-gu-ly-puuuuuuuuuff >B|

-- Richard Nixon was the best Dick of all time. OF ALL TIME!

---

[11:45] jeri: Jillian, let me say first that I have considered how this sounds
[11:45] jeri: and have already rejected several permutations that are worse
[11:45] jeri: I love Dick

---

[13:20] RW: HOW COULD THEY MAKE HIM A VILLAIN
[13:20] RW: ;_;
[13:21] jilli: cause he has an eyepatch P)
[13:21] RW: )8
[13:21] RW: that is so not fair
[13:21] RW: nick fury's not a villain!
[13:21] jilli: yes he is
[13:21] jilli: oh wait

---

[22:56] kai: Ivy: How sweet. *Sends him cake... laced with belladonna.*
[22:57] jilli: Crane: /doesn't eat cake, how else does he maintain his girlish figure
[22:58] jilli: on the other hand, I find the image of Crane scarfing cake to be hilarious
[22:58] tk: hahaha, scarfing cake
[22:59] tk: Like he's gone without cake for so long that he can't resist anymore, he just goes all out
[22:59] jilli: HAHA
[22:59] kai: XD
[22:59] tk: All "god, what a SHITTY DAY. ...I need a cake." and then he goes and buys a Deep & Delicious frozen cake and sits there eating it alone in his apartment at 2:30 in the morning.

---

- guysquint.jpg
- damn memes
- the government is lying to us!!
- this is old but I love it so much - seriously every time I see it I'm like :D

[00:01] <Jillian> terrible. http://r.xtarsia.net/roph/img/random/1179833987258.jpg
[00:04] <Slarti> ...Jill, that picture, WTF.
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically this page of random pictures is the worst ever and I can't stop looking
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically it is Takh's fault.
[00:05] <torches> is
[00:05] <torches> that
[00:05] <torches> batman licking an alfred dildo
[00:07] <Metody> An alfredo.
[00:08] <Slarti> >_o
[00:14] <Metody> What else would you call an Alfred dildo?
[00:14] <Metody> It even comes in white sauce!

---

[05:33] jilli: I think pb_updates has unbearded (I just typed "unbreaded") gerard butler as a suggestion for Batman, and I just. The amount of jokes to be made.
[05:33] kay: breaded gerard butler wings
[05:33] kay: thigh of butler
[05:33] kay: ...it's 4 AM
[05:34] kay: also what is wrong with balebatman :(
[05:34] jilli: idk
[05:34] atreyu: Besides "HARRAHFJSHA JOKER HAARAGAG"
[05:34] atreyu: Oh we aren't talking about how he talks then.
[05:34] inthessaly: ... lmao
[05:34] kay: HAHAHA

---

CANON KREEPTONIAN:
"In Justice League of America #1 (2006), Batman convenes a meeting of the Big Three in the Batcave to discuss membership in the new J.L.A. Superman notes that Bruce must be excited, because his pulse rate is in the forties."

[22:35] ariel: TIM GUNN'S HUGS ARE MADE OF UNICORN SIGHS
[22:35] jilli: *
[22:36] anna: ............tim gunn is the best alfred ever
[22:36] anna: batman comes home covered in bruises, bleeding like whoa
[22:36] anna: tim gunn just stands back and goes "this concerns me."

---

[09:47] <Kai> lmao Batman Brave and the Bold
[09:48] <Kai> Ollie: Sounds like you're afraid I'm going to top you again. / Batman: Again? / Ollie: Like always.
[09:48] <Jillian> Pppffffff

---

NONE OF YOU ARE DARKSEID'S BOO! YOU ARE ALL DARKSEID'S SLAVES! ALL OF YOU! HUMANS ARE ALL UNWORTHY OF BOO STATUS!

---

- hope
- I picked this up off the DC kink meme. Whose is it?
- >:(
- D'AWWWWWW
- Spidey vs. THE WALL
- Spidey goes undercover

Alternately: take THAT, DC kink meme!


[15:57] * Kai shakes LJ. DON'T CRASH AGAIN.
[15:57] <Jillian> HAHA Kai, LJ is against our porn.
[15:59] <Bobo> what porn is it
[15:59] <Bobo> jillian are you exercising erotic fantasies about the rainbow raider.
[16:00] <Kai> sob
[16:00] <Jillian> hahahaa
[16:00] <Jillian> RR/Condiment King
[16:00] <Kai> NOOOOOOOOOOOO
[16:00] <Jillian> oh wait
[16:00] <Kai> (saucy)
[16:00] <Jillian> it should be
[16:00] <Jillian> Condiment King/RR
[16:00] <Jillian> because CK ..... tops
[16:00] <Kai> Hahaha
[16:00] <Kai> yes
[16:01] <Kai> He's the topping type
[16:01] * Kai facepalms
[16:01] * Jillian is terrible with Kai, and will in the future threaten her with CK/RR porn
[16:01] * Kai imitates The Scream
[16:01] <Jillian> XD
[16:02] <Jillian> and RR comes rainbows, btw
[16:02] <Kai> WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPECIAL SAUCE WITH THAT
[16:02] <Jillian> hahahahahhaa
[16:02] <Jillian> look what you've done, bob
[16:02] <Jillian> I hope you're proud
[16:03] <Kai> I'm questioning the lubricant properties of mayonnaise 8(

---

[16:06] * Jillian starts looking up pics of CK so she can clumsily shop it together with a pic of RR. I sail this ship until the bottom falls out.
[16:06] <Kai> snfdskl;dskf
[16:07] <Kai> so that's RR
[16:07] * Kai watches him fall out of the ship
[16:08] * Kai ... into a vat of mayonnaise idk.
[16:08] <Bobo> oh christ I hate all of you

Not Always Right: Guess who answers the phone?
Amazing powers.

---

[20:39] <Jillian> pfffft
[20:39] <WorkRya> A-at least he isn't eating it sideways. Just ...pierced.
[20:40] <Anniepants> Without actually seeing the picture, Ray, that comment blows my mind.
[20:40] <Yarns> so
[20:40] <Yarns> not clicking that, then

---

[17:23] * Jillibean is checking to see if there is another Gotham DR, and runs across the "foxylucius" comm with the subtitle "Touch Mah Nopples Botmon".
[17:23] <Bobo> ................................
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAT
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAAAAAT
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> jill
[17:23] <Cait> what the hell
[17:23] <Bobo> AAAAAAA
[17:23] <Jillibean> :>
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> please tell me you just made that up
[17:23] <Jillibean> I did not
[17:23] <Slarti> ...
[17:23] <Slarti> Well.
[17:24] <Slarti> My, my.
[17:24] <Slarti> Isn't that something.

- hideous Riddler videos
- so happy together
- re: the reference in a recent Riddler comic by xanykaos
- the Question and Rorschach also by xanykaos

---

[17:20] flik: Does Ra's have a son in the comics? :o
[17:20] kai: you mean besides Talia?
[17:20] kai: *bricked*
[17:20] flik: XD
[17:20] jilli: I don't thi--pffff
[17:20] sho: XDDD
[17:21] flik: Well
[17:21] flik: She SORT OF becomes his son in Batman Beyond, I guess
[17:21] kai: ..............
[17:21] jilli: ha! so true
[17:21] sho: o.0
[17:21] flik: In a really messed up twisted kinda way?
[17:21] kai: wow, thanks for the reminder of that
[17:21] flik: Ra's takes over her body >.>
[17:21] kai: sob Ra's, so creepy
[17:21] flik: And, uh, makes out with Bruce in it
[17:21] flik: So I hear
[17:21] kai: yes .____.
[17:22] sho: O.O
[17:22] flik: I missed that episode apparently :<
[17:22] flik: I HAVE TO YOUTUBE IT
[17:22] jilli: just one kiss >_>
[17:22] flik: That's all it takes
[17:22] jilli: haha
[17:22] kai: XD
[17:22] flik: YOU KNOW HE'D BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR DECADES

---

[16:49] <Kai> kai: he is the trampiest Robin
[16:49] <Kai> sara: He really is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: but
[16:49] <Kai> sara: look who his mother is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: /:
[16:49] <Kai> kai: XD point
[16:49] <Kai> sara: lol
[16:49] <Kai> kai: You know what, I would have loved to see Jason tell Damian he'd banged his mother
[16:49] <Kai> sara: oh
[16:49] <Kai> sara: my
[16:49] <Kai> sara: god
[16:49] <Kai> sara: that would be nothing short of amazing
[16:49] <Bobo> Oracle: *expertly photoshops Talia into all sorts of compromising positions for this purpose*
[16:50] <Bobo> Talia: D: noes they be questionin my virtuez
[16:50] <Jillibean> Terry: Shut up, /Ra's/.

4chan has trolled Omegle far too many times for this to work, really, but it still yielded some lols. Here are Somarium's too.

Also, the most recent dare meme.

---

<fiasco> Is Omegle what Darkseid uses to chat?

---

[02:05] leah: hush/slade
[02:05] leah: watersports
[02:05] leah: no wait that's ic

Look, if you don't understand these.... it's just for the best.


[02:30] * Ray composes slow, romantic music to fit to your heartbeat, which Superman is listening to from two miles away, JohnB.
[02:32] * Ray is in the sewers altering the piping with plans carefully constructed by Superman so that your waste products may be collected by him and used as a sculptural medium for Superman's ongoing project of a bust devoted to you, JohnB, his passionate love. Even such base materials are sacred to him, having passed through the gates and valves of your body.
[02:32] * Ray loves you, JohnB. Loves you with the intensity of Superman thrashing against the waves of a thousand burning suns in order to burn your image forever into his retinas.
[02:34] * Ray steps back to allow Superman to gnaw off one of your legs, JohnB, so that he may later reguritate the flesh, hardening it around the bone and creating a rather unsanitary club with which he will use to beat you to death so that your corpse may provide his beloved Batman with a mystery to solve.
[02:34] <JohnB> ...where did you get these
[02:34] <Ray> I made them.

---

[01:37] * Ray has been slowly but carefully posioning your wine, Cait, with a chemical supplied by Superman so that when you pass on your brains and other vital organs will turn to liquid so that your body may be more easily mummified and the liquids drunk by Superman who is eternally thirsty for your entire being.
[01:38] <Metody> RAY
[01:39] * Ray breathes shallowly against the back of your neck with the same intensity as Superman, Metody

[01:02] abby: eh, it's a Scott episode
[01:02] claire: lol nobody cares about scott.
[01:03] takhys: Not even Mister Sinister.
[01:04] kay: just emma
[01:04] tk: back in the day my comix buddy and i had this running gag about how cyclops's mouth in the comics was, frequently, either totally closed or screaming wide open. never just talking normally. we'd yell random shit like "GOODNIGHT JEAN GREEEYYYY" at each other. the end.
[01:04] ariel: lol
[01:05] tk: or we'd converse by saying "jean" back and forth to each other.
[01:05] takhys: Scott = Horatio Caine?
[01:06] anna: scott cannot be horatio caine because horatio can take his sunglasses OFF.
[01:07] ariel: scott would take off
[01:07] ariel: a pair of sunglasses
[01:07] ariel: that are over
[01:07] ariel: another pair of sunglasses