DC Comics Group Sessions

never mind the meat slurry.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:07:41 GMT

[15:17] * torches prepares to watch the azerbaijan entry for eurovision 08
[15:17] <saucydele> nothing prepares you for that
[15:20] <FractionJackson> yeah, you can't prepare
[15:20] <FractionJackson> not even batman can prepare for it
[15:20] <saucydele> batman would probably just be like "fff" though

[11:21] TK: so, you Batman nerds, I'd like to know something
[11:22] TK: is Ra's al Ghul's fascination with naming everyone Ubu EVER EXPLAINED
[11:22] Jillian: uhh
[11:22] Kai: ahahaha I have no idea
[11:22] Jillian: it's a family thing? I'm not sure exactly
[11:22] TK: A family of everyone being named Ubu
[11:22] TK: that is the worst family

[18:12] TK: /puts a mask on jillian
[18:12] Jillian: mmf
[18:12] TK: i stole kai's body, now you're my ubu
[18:12] Jillian: o_o ......................................... /LEAPS INTO THE LAZARUS PIT
[18:14] TK: >:O HEY
[18:15] Jillian: /swims o3o
[18:15] TK: what-- THAT IS NOT A POOL
[18:15] TK: you're contaminating it
[18:16] Jillian: this is what happens when you steal kai's body, because I never listen to kai :3
[18:16] TK: DAMN IT
[18:17] TK: you are the worst ubu, i am revoking your ubu privileges
[18:17] Jillian: ok sometimes I listen to her but there's bribery involved... so if ra's makes out with bruce, I'll get out of the pool. :3??
[18:18] TK: /opens mouth to say something...and... ........closes it
[18:18] Jillian: I don't even know what "ubu privileges" are. the right and honor to die for ra's! the privilege of getting knocked out by Batman!
[18:19] TK: LOOK BE QUIET
[18:19] TK: GIVE ME THAT MASK

[23:28] TK: Jillian where have you been. >:I
[23:28] Jillian: <_< asleepin
[23:28] TK: You have been neglecting your duties-- I THOUGHT SO
[23:28] Treyu: Jilli I have heard rumors involving Ubus.
[23:28] Jillian: I THOUGHT I WAS FIRED AS UBU-- SSHH
[23:28] TK: I CHANGED MY MIND
[23:28] TK: SUCH ARE MY MIGHTY WHIMS
[23:28] Jillian: this is going to be like Wooster & Jeeves, only REALLY VERY MUCH NOT

[23:32] TK: /sends takh an envelope.
[23:33] takhys: /lets Jeri open it.
[23:33] TK: Open it. --NO YOU OPEN IT
[23:33] ohdrownedworld: /doesn't >:|
[23:33] takhys: Look, I had best let my <s>drunken</s> father open it...WELL FINE.
[23:33] TK: Look, it doesn't even matter, just someone open it.
[23:33] takhys: /opens it
[23:33] TK: HAHAHAHA.
[23:33] takhys: Am I covered in bees now?
[23:34] TK: ...d...is that something you really need to ask about
[23:34] takhys: Well, what was in the envelope?
[23:34] takhys: If not the bees of death.
[23:35] TK: Spores.
[23:35] takhys: ....look, you can't fungus me. I am already the leader of the pod people.
[23:35] Slarti: /rings a bell
[23:35] takhys: Er, that is, if pod people existed.
[23:35] TK: Spores of my own UNIQUE DESIGN
[23:35] takhys: /gives Slarti a fruit...well, fuck.
[23:35] takhys: Come here tk, I have a vat of meat slurry for you.
[23:36] TK: SPORES OF THE DREADED ST-- what no
[23:36] TK: gross
[23:36] Jillian: /fills the lazarus pits with meat slurry
[23:36] Heather: ...ew
[23:36] TK: jillian you are the worst ubu
[23:36] Jillian: actually wouldn't that -- hahahha
[23:36] Jillian: bring all the meat back to life
[23:37] Heather: yes
[23:37] Treyu: ...ew
[23:37] Slarti: Crazy meat.
[23:37] TK: it would be like the tetsuo of cows

[15:36] Kai: *rolls in and flops over*
[15:36] Jillian: /rolls kai into the lazarus pit
[15:36] TK: DAMN IT JILLIAN
[15:37] Kai: *splash*
[15:37] Jillian: :3 /wags tail
[15:37] Kai: *comes out as a Lazara >:E*
[15:37] Jeri: but now she's covered in meat slurry :(

see what you did?

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 19:18:49 GMT

[20:21] Claire: batman: WHERE DID I GO WRONG--oh, right. with everything, ever.
[20:22] Nat: "maybe it was that time I made jason wear chainmail panties and dye his hair like Dick's..."
[20:22] Jillian: HAHAHAHA
[20:22] Kai: sfdkjsflkgs
[20:22] Kai: THE HAIR DYE IS NOT CANON RARR
[20:22] Claire: I CAN'T HEAR YOULALALALALALA
[20:22] Nat: MORRISON SAYS SO
[20:22] Nat: YOU CANNOT DENY MORRISON
[20:22] Kai: MORRISON CAN GET OUT
[20:23] Claire: I CAN DENY MORRISON ALL DAY LONG
[20:23] Nat: he's somewhere making a chaos magic incantation to change your mind RIGHT NOW

[10:00] Claire: and then it's you know BLAH BLAH LOOK AT THIS SHIT BATMAN MADE OUT OF TWINE AND SOME KRYPTONITE BOOM TUBES SPACE oh clark made cupcakes.

[09:11] Jillian: so some time we should RP some Bruce/Dick? It can totally start with cornering Bruce in a bathroom. /runs away
[09:11] Claire: ...ashghjgjh
[09:11] Claire: come here i am going to smother you with this pillow

[19:24] Claire: grant, grant... just... come sit down and take a nap... while i hold this pillow of your face shhh shhh it's for the best

[00:29] Spideymun: (....you can knit but not arrange flowers?)
[00:29] Spideymun: (What kind of training did batman give you boys....)
[00:30] RW: shortpants training
[00:30] RW: that's what
[00:30] Jillian: shush you
[00:30] Eppy: lawl.
[00:30] Jillian: Tim didn't get that training. >_>
[00:30] RW: b/c batman finally wised up
[00:30] Eppy: he's the third one.
[00:30] Spideymun: Yes, the main lesson for the Robins: How to look sexy for batman
[00:30] Eppy: bruce didn't care at that point.
[00:30] Spideymun: Nightwing never forgot it, with all that spandex
[00:30] Jillian: Jason apparently rebelled against it.
[00:31] Eppy: is why he's out of the group.
[00:31] Jillian: PANTS. PANTS FOREVER.
[00:31] RW: 8D
[00:31] Eppy: DISOWNED.
[00:31] Eppy: WE DON'T DO PANTS IN THIS FAMILY, YOUNG MAN.

You leave shirtless Ra's out of this!

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 18:46:48 GMT

[12:57] Jillian: I just realized my entire image of what warehouses look like on the inside is completely formed by Batman: the Animated Series.
[12:58] Treyu: ...Yes.
[12:58] Jillian: I mean, really, it's not like I get to go visit warehouses ever? Or see full shots of them on TV. But still. BATMAN.
[12:58] Treyu: I have a few 80s movies and some Power Ranger sets to back that up, but it's mostly Batman.
[12:59] Treyu: With plenty of floor space for fighting, that sort of thing.
[12:59] Jillian: heh heh. and extra crates just hanging around for people to be kicked into.
[12:59] Kai: hahaha yes
[12:59] Treyu: Crowbars lying in handy areas....
[13:00] Treyu: The occasional fire hazard, but only if needed for the plot.

[19:29] Kai: it's kind of like shirtless Ra's - oh wait
[19:30] Slarti: haha
[19:30] TK: YOU LEAVE SHIRTLESS RA'S OUT OF THIS
[19:30] Kai: NEVER.
[19:31] TK: That is between him and Batman and everyone else who was around at the time, and wow that sounded worse than I even intended, but I'm leaving it just so.

[19:33] TK: There is a whole blog dedicated to shirtless superheroes.
[19:34] TK: ...this cover is weird, why is he holding the whole costume if Bruce is still wearing pants
[19:34] TK: Does he wear pants UNDER HIS PANTS?
[19:34] TK: How crafty
[19:35] Claire: well when you know ra's is probably going to undress you like a creeper the second you pass out
[19:35] Claire: more pants become a good idea
[19:36] Slarti: It's his spare costume. Ra's raided his luggage from his hotel room, for extra creepy.
[19:37] Jeri: HAHAHAH
[19:38] Jeri: you guys are great.
[19:38] Jeri: that's all.

[17:20] Jillian: SFW
[17:23] Kai: ffffft
[17:23] Kai: The Blackest Night issue of Booster Gold is EXACTLY like that (no it's not)

this is after Claire and TK watched the animated series episodes with Ra's in them.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:48:19 GMT

06:09] kai: Ra's al Chameleon
[06:10] kai: or al Gecko
[06:10] tk: Ducard cannot lick his own eyes. Just...for the record
[06:10] claire: ra's al fortunately retaining his sanity thanks to a lack of lazarus pits
[06:10] tk: (says you)
[06:10] claire: HAHAHA
[06:11] claire: seriously, just
[06:11] claire: someday
[06:11] claire: bruce and henri have to see animated ra's
[06:11] claire: somehow
[06:11] kai: fjhgfdss XD
[06:12] tk: Like I said, Ducard would never ever let him know that he was actually Ra's as well, out of fear that animated guy would be like "REALLY? YOU ARE ALSO ME?" and never leave him alone
[06:12] claire: bruce would basically turn into mjeatingpopcorn.gif
[06:13] claire: "SO THIS IS YOUR GREAT FOUNDER"
[06:13] claire: "THE DUDE YOU'RE EMULATING AND WHOSE LEGACY YOU'RE ALL OBSESSED WITH"
[06:13] claire: glowing nipples.
[06:14] tk: "shut up. p.s. your parents are dead."

[10:41] tk: Here Kai, have TAS-Ra's singing joyfully
[10:41] kai: gfdjlgfdjhfdkhd
[10:42] kai: someone needs to take that audio and actually splice it to footage of Ra's
[10:42] claire: THIS AGAIN
[10:43] tk: OH WHAT A TREE, OH WHAT A LEAF
[10:43] kai: or to Ducard, but that would be amazingly geeky
[10:44] tk: Ducard doesn't run around or...emote enough
[10:44] tk: To cartoon Ra's it would be pretty great, though
[10:44] claire: HYSTERICAL SHIRTLESS LAUGHING
[10:45] tk: OH WHAT A NOBLE MAN AM I /inexplicable monocle and top hat
[10:45] claire: i like how out of everything
[10:45] claire: in that episode
[10:45] claire: we were just like HE'S WEARING A MONOCLE???????????/
[10:45] tk: Well what was the POINT of it
[10:46] claire: ...possibly the monocle
[10:46] jillian: HAHA WHAT HAVE I COME BACK TO
[10:46] tk: The point of the monocle was the monocle. ...wait I'm writing a thing-- UH NOTHING

[19:19] claire: /throws abby into the lazarus pit
[19:19] abby: /resurrects all crazyface
[19:19] tk: I read that as 'creeps' and NO MY PIT
[19:19] abby: >:E
[19:19] tk: I WAS SAVING THAT
[19:19] tk: god, claire
[19:20] claire: you snooze you lose
[19:20] abby: It was really good too, TK.
[19:20] abby: Like, I have been in some Lazarus Pits before
[19:20] abby: but not like that one
[19:20] tk: /runs to the next one and licks it
[19:20] claire: this is getting weird

[07:25] kai: http://bacbac-miki.deviantart.com/art/ebay-60205550
[07:30] jillian: "Well Bruce is a billionare so it will be pretty hard to beat him in any type of auction. He's so rich that if he wanted Wonder Woman's tiara or Superman's underwear he would get both items in a second."
[07:30] jillian: ?????
[07:31] claire: would he really have to pay for those
[07:31] kai: ... probably not
[07:32] kai: He could just ask and they'd be like "... well okay, BATMAN."
[07:32] claire: ...LOL
[07:32] claire: god now i'm imagining clark's reaction
[07:32] claire: just kind of puzzled... even though he's... already in the process of handing over his underpants. because batman.

YOU'RE an Arrakis delicacy.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 23:41:37 GMT

[20:03] tk: oh my god this sandqixh is hugwe ...ican't even hold it and ytype at gthe same time
[20:03] tk: begone sandwich. anyway it's big.
[20:04] anna: sandqixh is the most awesome way to spell that
[20:05] tk: it looks like it should be pronounced 'sand-quiche'. like it's an arrakis delicacy or something
[20:05] kai: >.>
[20:05] slarti: hahaha There's Kai.
[20:05] jilli: luls.
[20:05] jilli: she's going >.> because she has, in the past, made a sand quiche and just didn't tell us.
[20:06] kai: I only wish I had such culinary expertise
[20:06] kai: Such a mastery of spices, you might say
[20:06] jilli: but you do!
[20:06] jilli: just ask condiment king
[20:07] kai: he's not the most reliable sauce of information
[20:07] mhari: .... KAI
[20:07] kai: XD
[20:07] mhari: /punts

[21:45] claire: .... i love panera
[21:45] claire: and everyone who works here
[21:45] claire: i just went and got soup and i was chatting with the girl at the register and i was like yeah since you guys close early i will soon FLEE INTO THE NIGHT
[21:45] claire: and she stopped and went ".................. are you batman? /FRYSQUINT"
[21:45] slarti: hahaha
[21:46] monstrousjezebel: i sincerely hope you said yes
[21:46] claire: well yeah, she busted me
[21:46] claire: we discussed how she now gets first in line treatment in the event of a rescue situation, i have to come get her first
[21:46] tk: ahaha.
[21:48] slarti: And, of course, now that she knows The Secret, she's gonna need it.
[21:50] claire: yeah it's a terrible cycle :[

RW (21:26:53): slade
RW (21:26:56): IS IN A FUCKING MOVIE
kai (21:27:04): yeah I thought you'd like that
RW (21:27:09): ABOUT FUCKING TIM
kai (21:27:13): ...
RW (21:27:13): TIME*
kai (21:27:16): madam

[16:27] claire: ...................
[16:27] slarti: HAAAHAHA
[16:28] slarti: Oh, the cruelties of the Return key.
[16:28] kai: hahahahaha yes
[16:29] claire: the horrible thing is i just
[16:29] claire: like
[16:29] claire: STOP IT YOU ALREADY HAVE TT!ROBIN
[16:29] claire: was my first reaction to that.

Oh my god.

a Slarti hat trick

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 19:19:05 GMT

[09:19] Jillian: haha Slarti, I am two for two in Dr. Scott's quiz. Clearly I would be an awesome comic book doctor.
[09:20] Slarti: hahaha
[09:20] Jillian: aw I missed the third. still, 2/3 isn't bad >_> it's certainly much better than Dr. Crane.
[09:22] Slarti: So, not quite ready to be The Best (Neuro|Plastic|Cardiothoracic)Surgeon in the World, then.

[21:57] Takhys: Slarti, my heart, I suspect that you will appreciate this. My midterm was so terrible that after it was over (and a few beers into the recoup phase) one of the guys in my class described it thusly: 'Okay, do you know comics? I feel like that exam was thrown off the Washington bridge and no matter how I tried to catch it, something DIED.'
[21:58] Jillian: lmao.
[21:59] Takhys: I asked him if he thought the final would just be a clone of the midterm.
[21:59] Takhys: ...and was promptly stabbed.
[22:03] Slarti: hahahha
[22:03] Slarti: Alternative response: "So, you found it was a snap, then?"
[22:03] Takhys: Boo, hiss.

[11:35] Jillian: /enfolds takh in a pancake
[11:35] Takhys: :o
[11:35] Takhys: I am delicious.
[11:38] Jakavedria: /nibble
[11:39] Takhys: /tastes of pamcake
[11:39] Takhys: http://www.comicspace.com/droog811/comics.php?action=read&file_id=149086
[11:43] Ariel: pamcakes is my favourite hellboy comic
[11:43] Takhys: And Ariel, you're my favourite pamcake.
[11:50] *** Ariel has left the chat.
[11:50] Slarti: She will never come back to us now.

Grand Theft Gotham

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:13:53 GMT

[15:13] Jillian: haha, Slarti, I'm reading Blue Beetle #28, and there apparently exists a Grand Theft Gotham. this is SO going directly into my canon.
[15:14] Slarti: heh
[15:14] Claire: =_= fff.
[15:15] Claire: ... i would so play that.
[15:15] Jillian: That would be so awesome.
[15:16] Slarti: Wanted Levels in the game:
* - A beat cop.
** - A cop car.
*** - A few cop cars.
**** - Cop cars and a chopper.
***** - The Batman.
[15:16] Jillian: Hee hee.
[15:18] Slarti: Actually, no, I suppose that "realistically" speaking, it wouldn't work that way... Rather, every time your Wanted Level changes, there's always some percentage chance that you'll just get The Batman, even if all you've done is kill one guy.
[15:18] Claire: hahaha how much would that suck
[15:18] Claire: level 1, you're not even sure how the controls work
[15:18] Claire: surprise: batman.
[15:18] Jillian: hahahah
[15:19] Liz: "YOUR DAYS OF CRIME ARE OVER, SON"
[15:19] Liz: i want it to be 1960's batman >_>
[15:19] Claire: EXPLODING SHARK BONUS LEVEL
[15:19] Slarti: Well, to be fair, if it works like in GTA, you get bagged by the Batman, and it's like getting bagged by the cops: You lose your weapons, you lose some cash for a fine, and then you're let out to resume play from in front of Arkham.

[15:20] Liz: so by Gotham villain rules, like
[15:20] Liz: you're not just Some Guy
[15:20] Liz: maybe the first level is your tragic backstory, like
[15:21] Claire: you're actually some kind of low level costumed villain, like, with the 60s theme, the lilac. kind of useless but still warranting an asskicking from batman.
[15:21] Slarti: Wanted Levels aren't, like, Level 12 thief. In GTA, that's just how very wanted you are by the cops at that particular immediate moment.
[15:21] Liz: HAHAH you were once a mechanic
[15:21] Liz: Slarti I know :[ shhh
[15:21] Liz: so - no, you're right
[15:22] Liz: the first MISSION
[15:22] Slarti: yy
[15:23] Liz: Cars uhhh killed and ate your entire family and shot...battery acid on your face
[15:23] Kai: ... this is pretty fantastic to come back to
[15:23] Liz: and then branded it with the Cadillac brand!!
[15:23] Slarti: ffffff
[15:24] Mhari: so your supervillain identity is, what
[15:24] Mhari: The Demolisher?
[15:24] Liz: Yes
[15:24] Liz: look if anyone here has played GTA you know this is exactly what you end up doing
[15:24] Liz: Wrecking the everliving hell out of cars
[15:25] Slarti: You run around, killing people but especially jacking cars from people and driving them shittily all over town.
[15:26] Liz: and kill some hookers WAIT NO I have an idea: why is that even in the game, Rockstar
[15:26] Slarti: What I particularly like about the "X% chance on every Wanted change" idea is that you can go run around on a massive tear, find a rocket launcher and blow up cars until you've got a **** rating, jack a car, take it to the Pay 'n' Spray, it comes out a different color and your Wanted rating goes away...
[15:27] Slarti: ...and then five minutes later you mug one guy and the Batman bags you.
[15:27] Claire: this game needs to exist.
[15:27] Claire: right now.
[15:28] Claire: they could score you at the end on how bloodthirsty you were, like, if you sucked at everything you're the condiment king, but then again! joker.

[15:30] Slarti: There could even be different editions of the game. Like, in the first one, you're not even really the villain; you're the guy who henches for villains all around town, and occasionally pulls small-time shit while out on the town.
[15:30] Slarti: And then the second game has you graduate to villain-hood, giving you the opportunity to develop your costume and schtick as you go.
[15:31] Claire: man this game is every "violent videogames brainwash kids" activist's nightmare
[15:31] Jillian: hahaha.
[15:31] Claire: "IT'S TRAINING CHILDREN TO BE SUPERVILLAINS, DON'T WE HAVE ENOUGH"
[15:31] Kai: so who wants to write up the pitch to Rockstar?
[15:31] Slarti: (Possibly literally, if the Mad Hatter was invo--- oh, wait.)
[15:32] Claire: meanwhile it's just the batkids playing it like "lol look what i made the penguin do /CRASHES INTO A WALL"

[15:33] Slarti: Of course, in-universe, I'm not sure any company's going to want to create a game that might involve the Joker.
[15:33] Jillian: haha true
[15:34] Kai: ffff the dilemma of do you include him and risk him asking for royalties, or leave him out and risk pissing him off
[15:34] Slarti: And you can't have a Gotham-set game without the Joker, or else he might think you're excluding him, and that would be Bad.
[15:34] Claire: unless the development leader was a supervillain himself, setting a trap
[15:34] Claire: Overthinking It 101
[15:35] Claire: that would suck, though, being the middle management guy who gets the mandate from on high to decide whether or not to use the joker
[15:35] Slarti: That's when you quit, change your name, and leave town.

"tim this is why everybody thinks you're a fag"

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:20:58 GMT

....jiiiiii-gu-ly-puuuuuuuuuff >B|

Jeri, I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but I just wanted to say that--

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 23:26:29 GMT

-- Richard Nixon was the best Dick of all time. OF ALL TIME!

[11:45] jeri: Jillian, let me say first that I have considered how this sounds
[11:45] jeri: and have already rejected several permutations that are worse
[11:45] jeri: I love Dick

[13:20] RW: HOW COULD THEY MAKE HIM A VILLAIN
[13:20] RW: ;_;
[13:21] jilli: cause he has an eyepatch P)
[13:21] RW: )8
[13:21] RW: that is so not fair
[13:21] RW: nick fury's not a villain!
[13:21] jilli: yes he is
[13:21] jilli: oh wait

[22:56] kai: Ivy: How sweet. *Sends him cake... laced with belladonna.*
[22:57] jilli: Crane: /doesn't eat cake, how else does he maintain his girlish figure
[22:58] jilli: on the other hand, I find the image of Crane scarfing cake to be hilarious
[22:58] tk: hahaha, scarfing cake
[22:59] tk: Like he's gone without cake for so long that he can't resist anymore, he just goes all out
[22:59] jilli: HAHA
[22:59] kai: XD
[22:59] tk: All "god, what a SHITTY DAY. ...I need a cake." and then he goes and buys a Deep & Delicious frozen cake and sits there eating it alone in his apartment at 2:30 in the morning.

- guysquint.jpg
- damn memes
- the government is lying to us!!
- this is old but I love it so much - seriously every time I see it I'm like :D

HARRAHFJSHA JOKER HAARAGAG

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 18:03:30 GMT

[00:01] <Jillian> terrible. http://r.xtarsia.net/roph/img/random/1179833987258.jpg
[00:04] <Slarti> ...Jill, that picture, WTF.
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically this page of random pictures is the worst ever and I can't stop looking
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically it is Takh's fault.
[00:05] <torches> is
[00:05] <torches> that
[00:05] <torches> batman licking an alfred dildo
[00:07] <Metody> An alfredo.
[00:08] <Slarti> >_o
[00:14] <Metody> What else would you call an Alfred dildo?
[00:14] <Metody> It even comes in white sauce!

[05:33] jilli: I think pb_updates has unbearded (I just typed "unbreaded") gerard butler as a suggestion for Batman, and I just. The amount of jokes to be made.
[05:33] kay: breaded gerard butler wings
[05:33] kay: thigh of butler
[05:33] kay: ...it's 4 AM
[05:34] kay: also what is wrong with balebatman :(
[05:34] jilli: idk
[05:34] atreyu: Besides "HARRAHFJSHA JOKER HAARAGAG"
[05:34] atreyu: Oh we aren't talking about how he talks then.
[05:34] inthessaly: ... lmao
[05:34] kay: HAHAHA

CANON KREEPTONIAN:
"In Justice League of America #1 (2006), Batman convenes a meeting of the Big Three in the Batcave to discuss membership in the new J.L.A. Superman notes that Bruce must be excited, because his pulse rate is in the forties."

Look, he's just awesome, okay?

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:23:51 GMT

[22:35] ariel: TIM GUNN'S HUGS ARE MADE OF UNICORN SIGHS
[22:35] jilli: *
[22:36] anna: ............tim gunn is the best alfred ever
[22:36] anna: batman comes home covered in bruises, bleeding like whoa
[22:36] anna: tim gunn just stands back and goes "this concerns me."

[09:47] <Kai> lmao Batman Brave and the Bold
[09:48] <Kai> Ollie: Sounds like you're afraid I'm going to top you again. / Batman: Again? / Ollie: Like always.
[09:48] <Jillian> Pppffffff

NONE OF YOU ARE DARKSEID'S BOO! YOU ARE ALL DARKSEID'S SLAVES! ALL OF YOU! HUMANS ARE ALL UNWORTHY OF BOO STATUS!

- hope
- I picked this up off the DC kink meme. Whose is it?
- >:(
- D'AWWWWWW
- Spidey vs. THE WALL
- Spidey goes undercover

the love that dare not soy its name

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:22:35 GMT

Alternately: take THAT, DC kink meme!

[15:57] * Kai shakes LJ. DON'T CRASH AGAIN.
[15:57] <Jillian> HAHA Kai, LJ is against our porn.
[15:59] <Bobo> what porn is it
[15:59] <Bobo> jillian are you exercising erotic fantasies about the rainbow raider.
[16:00] <Kai> sob
[16:00] <Jillian> hahahaa
[16:00] <Jillian> RR/Condiment King
[16:00] <Kai> NOOOOOOOOOOOO
[16:00] <Jillian> oh wait
[16:00] <Kai> (saucy)
[16:00] <Jillian> it should be
[16:00] <Jillian> Condiment King/RR
[16:00] <Jillian> because CK ..... tops
[16:00] <Kai> Hahaha
[16:00] <Kai> yes
[16:01] <Kai> He's the topping type
[16:01] * Kai facepalms
[16:01] * Jillian is terrible with Kai, and will in the future threaten her with CK/RR porn
[16:01] * Kai imitates The Scream
[16:01] <Jillian> XD
[16:02] <Jillian> and RR comes rainbows, btw
[16:02] <Kai> WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPECIAL SAUCE WITH THAT
[16:02] <Jillian> hahahahahhaa
[16:02] <Jillian> look what you've done, bob
[16:02] <Jillian> I hope you're proud
[16:03] <Kai> I'm questioning the lubricant properties of mayonnaise 8(

[16:06] * Jillian starts looking up pics of CK so she can clumsily shop it together with a pic of RR. I sail this ship until the bottom falls out.
[16:06] <Kai> snfdskl;dskf
[16:07] <Kai> so that's RR
[16:07] * Kai watches him fall out of the ship
[16:08] * Kai ... into a vat of mayonnaise idk.
[16:08] <Bobo> oh christ I hate all of you

that is, indeed, "something" all right.

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:31:17 GMT

Not Always Right: Guess who answers the phone?
Amazing powers.

[20:39] <Jillian> pfffft
[20:39] <WorkRya> A-at least he isn't eating it sideways. Just ...pierced.
[20:40] <Anniepants> Without actually seeing the picture, Ray, that comment blows my mind.
[20:40] <Yarns> so
[20:40] <Yarns> not clicking that, then

[17:23] * Jillibean is checking to see if there is another Gotham DR, and runs across the "foxylucius" comm with the subtitle "Touch Mah Nopples Botmon".
[17:23] <Bobo> ................................
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAT
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAAAAAT
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> jill
[17:23] <Cait> what the hell
[17:23] <Bobo> AAAAAAA
[17:23] <Jillibean> :>
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> please tell me you just made that up
[17:23] <Jillibean> I did not
[17:23] <Slarti> ...
[17:23] <Slarti> Well.
[17:24] <Slarti> My, my.
[17:24] <Slarti> Isn't that something.

I don't think we'll ever get over this.

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:32:22 GMT

- hideous Riddler videos
- so happy together
- re: the reference in a recent Riddler comic by xanykaos
- the Question and Rorschach also by xanykaos

[17:20] flik: Does Ra's have a son in the comics? :o
[17:20] kai: you mean besides Talia?
[17:20] kai: *bricked*
[17:20] flik: XD
[17:20] jilli: I don't thi--pffff
[17:20] sho: XDDD
[17:21] flik: Well
[17:21] flik: She SORT OF becomes his son in Batman Beyond, I guess
[17:21] kai: ..............
[17:21] jilli: ha! so true
[17:21] sho: o.0
[17:21] flik: In a really messed up twisted kinda way?
[17:21] kai: wow, thanks for the reminder of that
[17:21] flik: Ra's takes over her body >.>
[17:21] kai: sob Ra's, so creepy
[17:21] flik: And, uh, makes out with Bruce in it
[17:21] flik: So I hear
[17:21] kai: yes .____.
[17:22] sho: O.O
[17:22] flik: I missed that episode apparently :<
[17:22] flik: I HAVE TO YOUTUBE IT
[17:22] jilli: just one kiss >_>
[17:22] flik: That's all it takes
[17:22] jilli: haha
[17:22] kai: XD
[17:22] flik: YOU KNOW HE'D BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR DECADES

[16:49] <Kai> kai: he is the trampiest Robin
[16:49] <Kai> sara: He really is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: but
[16:49] <Kai> sara: look who his mother is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: /:
[16:49] <Kai> kai: XD point
[16:49] <Kai> sara: lol
[16:49] <Kai> kai: You know what, I would have loved to see Jason tell Damian he'd banged his mother
[16:49] <Kai> sara: oh
[16:49] <Kai> sara: my
[16:49] <Kai> sara: god
[16:49] <Kai> sara: that would be nothing short of amazing
[16:49] <Bobo> Oracle: *expertly photoshops Talia into all sorts of compromising positions for this purpose*
[16:50] <Bobo> Talia: D: noes they be questionin my virtuez
[16:50] <Jillibean> Terry: Shut up, /Ra's/.

I actually had a long, coherent conversation with someone on Omegle. Bizarre.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:18:06 GMT

4chan has trolled Omegle far too many times for this to work, really, but it still yielded some lols. Here are Somarium's too.

Also, the most recent dare meme.

<fiasco> Is Omegle what Darkseid uses to chat?

[02:05] leah: hush/slade
[02:05] leah: watersports
[02:05] leah: no wait that's ic

this is the most hideous post I have ever posted

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 20:06:12 GMT

Look, if you don't understand these.... it's just for the best.

[02:30] * Ray composes slow, romantic music to fit to your heartbeat, which Superman is listening to from two miles away, JohnB.
[02:32] * Ray is in the sewers altering the piping with plans carefully constructed by Superman so that your waste products may be collected by him and used as a sculptural medium for Superman's ongoing project of a bust devoted to you, JohnB, his passionate love. Even such base materials are sacred to him, having passed through the gates and valves of your body.
[02:32] * Ray loves you, JohnB. Loves you with the intensity of Superman thrashing against the waves of a thousand burning suns in order to burn your image forever into his retinas.
[02:34] * Ray steps back to allow Superman to gnaw off one of your legs, JohnB, so that he may later reguritate the flesh, hardening it around the bone and creating a rather unsanitary club with which he will use to beat you to death so that your corpse may provide his beloved Batman with a mystery to solve.
[02:34] <JohnB> ...where did you get these
[02:34] <Ray> I made them.

[01:37] * Ray has been slowly but carefully posioning your wine, Cait, with a chemical supplied by Superman so that when you pass on your brains and other vital organs will turn to liquid so that your body may be more easily mummified and the liquids drunk by Superman who is eternally thirsty for your entire being.
[01:38] <Metody> RAY
[01:39] * Ray breathes shallowly against the back of your neck with the same intensity as Superman, Metody

my icons are awesome.

Sat, 30 May 2009 13:59:55 GMT

[01:02] abby: eh, it's a Scott episode
[01:02] claire: lol nobody cares about scott.
[01:03] takhys: Not even Mister Sinister.
[01:04] kay: just emma
[01:04] tk: back in the day my comix buddy and i had this running gag about how cyclops's mouth in the comics was, frequently, either totally closed or screaming wide open. never just talking normally. we'd yell random shit like "GOODNIGHT JEAN GREEEYYYY" at each other. the end.
[01:04] ariel: lol
[01:05] tk: or we'd converse by saying "jean" back and forth to each other.
[01:05] takhys: Scott = Horatio Caine?
[01:06] anna: scott cannot be horatio caine because horatio can take his sunglasses OFF.
[01:07] ariel: scott would take off
[01:07] ariel: a pair of sunglasses
[01:07] ariel: that are over
[01:07] ariel: another pair of sunglasses

I had a dream I was hangin' out with Superman and his brain fell out.

Mon, 18 May 2009 18:29:18 GMT

[21:36] <Kai> Ahahaha I saw and it's lovely <3 Reading Countdown has me in a MOST UNSEXY MOOD but I shall see what I can do XD
[21:37] <Jillian> HAHHAHAHA
[21:37] <Jillian> Oh Countdown
[21:37] <Jillian> more like Cockblockdown amirite
[21:38] <Kai> Hahaha seriously
[21:38] <Kai> Jason: *Acts like a jilted lover when Kyle shows up.*
[21:39] <Jillian> Kyle: *giant green chicken*
[21:40] <Kai> Jason: *Punches B|*
[21:40] <Jillian> man I should read Kyle's stuff. He's such a derp, he's like the worst GL ever and his poor girlfriend in the fridge.
[21:40] <Jillian> Kyle: *blocks... with chicken* 8D
[21:40] <Kai> Hahahaha
[21:41] <Kai> Jason: ... Damn it >:|
[21:41] <Jillian> Donna: Guyyyyysss quit it *bitchwhine*
[21:42] <Kai> Jason: ... *Shoots in the face*
[21:42] <Jillian> snork
[21:43] <Jillian> WHAT IT WAS AT THE LOWEST SETTING !!!!!! GEEZ GUYS >:O
[21:43] <Kai> YEAH GEEZ AND BOB UNCLOAKED IT
[21:43] <Kai> be...cause he could read Jason's intent
[21:43] <Jillian> if you know what I mean
[21:43] <Kai> They made a ~connection~
[21:43] <Jillian> IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

[21:44] <Jillian> You should write a Very Secret Diary for Jason all during Countdown.
[21:45] <Kai> pfffhahaha
[21:46] <Kai> "Donna's neckline changed again. More boobs, sweet."
[21:46] <Jillian> hahahahah
[21:46] <Slarti> "Still not Batman."
[21:46] <Kai> XD
[21:46] <Jillian> HAHA yes thank you Slarti
[21:47] <Kai> Jason: "This issue Kyle turned into a horrible vampiric monster demon thing. Finally shut up."
[21:48] <Jillian> Kyle: "This issue I turned into a horrible vampiric monster demon thing. Jason smelled delicious. Was horrified into silence."

[14:43] <Jillibean> hahahahahahha
[14:45] <Slarti> snorrrrt
[14:45] * Jillibean cries laughing at Jaime
[14:47] <Jillibean> I'M THE PRETTIEST TIME PRINCESS B|
[14:48] <Slarti> hahaha

- "Ooh Captain America: a fan-fiction"
- Canon Kreeptonian
- B-belt buckle lmao
- Aww.jpg
- Auugh.jpg

at this point the lantern corps are comprised entirely of other fandoms

Fri, 01 May 2009 08:35:55 GMT

<Bobo> Candlejack, you have the ability to spread great fe

- the only thing Liefield has ever drawn well
- Batman is the master of one more art
- Hey! What're you doin--
- The facts of life
- And that's why I registered
- Everybody loves Dick
- For some reason, I laughed harder when I thought it said "paper"
- Subtle shopping
- The Anti-Life Engine
- "He's gonna fuck up people's shit in Blackest Night."
- Killing Wolverine
- YYYYEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHH.
- Mr. Freeze vs. Captain Cold
- Um... is it Batman?
- Pictures of pictures
- We love you, Green Lantern!

I'm not dead.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:24:19 GMT

Ever since I started playing at capeandcowl I have been completely distracted. Here are some hilarious DC-related links from our spam comm.

Dating Chart meme - look for Batman's, I think on the third page.
Like a Boss - okay, fine, this is totally about Iron Man and not anything to do with DC.
Tags relevant - in which we talk about the Riddler.
Cry Wolf - the game also known as werewolf or mafia. Watch who dies! See who is a wolf! O, the drama!
Trailer Triplets - what would happen if Bullseye, Carnage, and Black Mask lived together in a trailer park? They get drawn as cats, that's what.
Moar kitties - what it says
Demotivational Meme - "Breasts: Because you can't motorboat personalities".
The Disneyland Meme - everyfuckingbody goes to Disneyland, all right?
Liefield GTFO - I just died in your arms tonight. Bonus Marla Elliot.
Mystery Drink Meme - search for all three instances of Batman trying to kryptonite-punch Smallville!Clark.
Things that matter in life - Duh.
Slow motion you guys - sslloowwmmoo
Buy Shamwow or I'll blow things up - as it says
Thomas Elliot insults Bullseye and Carnage - that's right, THOMAS. ELLIOT.
Best Spidey app ever - Now this is a story.

not even DC help

Sat, 31 Jan 2009 17:41:20 GMT

[12:21] <Jillibean> "Jon Osterman/Bruce Wayne, PG-13" ha ha ha oh you.
[12:21] <Terana> Oh, internet.
[12:21] <Terana> No.
[12:22] <Jillibean> written by "bubastis", incidentally.
[12:22] <Jillibean> ... 32 minutes ago?
[12:23] * Terana throws things.
[12:23] <Terana> Damn cat.
[12:24] <Jillibean> hahaha the author's note: "I really have no idea what this is. I've been awake since Thursday night."
[12:24] <Terana> Here, young one. I will help you sleep.
[12:24] <Terana> Forever.
[12:24] <Jillibean> X3
[12:25] <Nix> lol
[12:25] <Jillibean> "Jonathan Osterman is blue. Blue, and he glows. Blue, glowing, and god-like. Blue, glowing, god-like, and speaking of God, God, he looks good in a suit. Plus, he sort of sparkles." nooooooooo
[12:25] <Nix> hahahahaha
[12:25] <Nix> and he is a vampire
[12:25] <Nix> btw
[12:25] <Terana> rghgsa
[12:27] <Nix> Rorschach: Hurm. Would not have suspected. Manhattan a homosexual. Perhaps why miss Juspecyk dresses so provocatively.
[12:27] <Terana> pfff.
[12:28] <Terana> "A homosexual body and a heterosexual one contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference"
[12:30] <Tod> it could contain more particles, if you know what I'm sayin'
[12:30] <Tod> ><
[12:30] <Jillibean> lulz
[12:30] <Nix> hahahahaha
[12:30] <Terana> "...shut up, Adrian."

we're like this (shotgun fingers)

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 07:49:33 GMT

<Jeribot> OH MAN did you see someone on my intro post was like 'Now I want to play Hellboy! Except I don't have time!' and I was like "No of course not! You should never! I MEAN. YES. DO IT."
<Slarti> That person could play Hellboy, but then due to lack of time, he's always busy off somewhere else, having his own standalone adventures while the rest of the BPRD gets fucked up by frogs and under-dwellers.
<Jeribot> hahah
<Slarti> Not that I'm making any particular sort of meta-commentary, *Mike*.

<Jillibean> I don't know why this makes me laugh.
<Jillibean> I think it's because the mudkip is like :|
<Kai> XD
<Slarti> The mudkip's true purpose... is *sinister*.

<RayCookies> Me and Frank Miller
<RayCookies> we're like (crosses fingers)
<RayCookies> This
<Jillian> his whores are your whores
<RayCookies> (nods sagely) Dude, once. He even let me burn one up in a vat of butterscotch
<RayCookies> We drank fizzless cola
<Jillian> snork
<RayCookies> and nodded to each other

In which Alfred is the shirtless soul of discretion.

Thu, 20 Nov 2008 11:26:13 GMT

<t-biscuit> Oh man, I never caught this before, haha.
<t-biscuit> Harvey: "You've known [Rachel] her whole life!" Alfred: "Not yet, sir." DUN DUN FORESHADOWING
<Slarti> ahaha
<Karra> hahahahaha
<Karra> Alfred: *in on the conspiracy*, obviously
<Slarti> I just figured that, as a level 20+ Butler, Alfred had a form of precognition that was useful not only for knowing when Bruce needs him for something, but also being up on the plot.
<Karra> He needs to level up on 'telling people' then.
<Slarti> Heavens, no. The Butler is the epitome of discretion.
<Karra> Rachel: Thanks, Alfred. Good job.

<Jillian> haha, what was All Star Alfred like anyway? I only remember him from the first issue, being Totally Manly and rescuing what's-her-face the reporter chick.
<Kai> Oh god, yeah
<Kai> Uh he... boxes
<Jillian> there was that whole spread which was like a romance novel cover-- oh lol
<Kai> And goes around shirtless saving reporter chicks in distress
* Jillian imagines comics!Alfred going "oh my".
<Kai> X3
<Kai> And he sneaks Dick hamburgers and fries
<Jillian> awww.
<Kai> ... man, All Star Alfred is the TRUE hero in that series
<Jillian> All Star Alfred should get his own title.
<Kai> Hahaha yes
<Jillian> all the narration is like "fuck, Bruce is psychotic ._. what did I do wrong??"
<Kai> X3
<Jillian> "Vicki Vale won't stop calling ;_;"
<Kai> "Damn these blasted, reckless female reporters. Always getting themselves into a predicament from which only a true gentleman such as myself may rescue them, and I without even my shirt."
<Jillian> XD
<Kai> "Master Bruce still hasn't shaved. One wonders why I bother to prepare the damn bathroom at all, but it's a step above pressing the blasted /suit/."
<Kai> ... can't stop, send help
<Jillian> YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO
<Kai> Uh uh THERE MAYO-NLY BE ONE CURE

"This isn't for my son. This isn't for Kid Flash. No. This is for one fucked up year."

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 04:36:46 GMT

<Jillian> ... /co/. No. (Why did I start reading again??)
<Jillian> "Sailor Moon Written by Frank Miller
<Jillian> What would it be like? Would you read it?"
<Rahne42> .......
<Slarti> hahahah
<Slarti> "By the Power of the Goddamned Moon..."
<Jillian> hahahaha
<Kaa> fast hands, big mouth...
<Jillian> at least the whores are already written in? *ducks*

<Jillian> ................... is anyone following Final Crisis
<Jillian> not that it matters because I'm going to WTF right now about Inertia's magical girl transformation
<Slarti> Nooooo, it's a trap!
<Jillian> hfjdshfkjsdh goddamnit Piper turned himself in. fuck your conscience! anti-life equation, Piper! garharkjdhfjkd. >:O
<Slarti> Yeah, but Jill, acknowledging that Piper has Anti-Life would mean acknowledging Countdown.
<Slarti> And do you really want to do that?
<Jillian> Libra totally said it! It's too late!
<Slarti> Who? I don't know who you're talking about. In fact, I'm not even sure what comics you're referring to. Are you sure you're feeling all right?

No. No, I'm not feeling all right at all. ;___; But this makes me feel better.

"Dark Knight Club"; violin bow sodomy. Related? You make the call.

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:56:55 GMT

Oh man. This is all I got.

Well, and Eddie, who has apparently finally been outriddled. Will this cause him to take overwrought and oversized revenge on the entire earth?

What would Grant Morrison think?

Also, though this is not strictly comics business and everybody knows about it already, I love Warren Ellis's Twitter. This is one of my favorite sequences thus far: