Ever since I started playing at capeandcowl I have been completely distracted. Here are some hilarious DC-related links from our spam comm.

Dating Chart meme - look for Batman's, I think on the third page.
Like a Boss - okay, fine, this is totally about Iron Man and not anything to do with DC.
Tags relevant - in which we talk about the Riddler.
Cry Wolf - the game also known as werewolf or mafia. Watch who dies! See who is a wolf! O, the drama!
Trailer Triplets - what would happen if Bullseye, Carnage, and Black Mask lived together in a trailer park? They get drawn as cats, that's what.
Moar kitties - what it says
Demotivational Meme - "Breasts: Because you can't motorboat personalities".
The Disneyland Meme - everyfuckingbody goes to Disneyland, all right?
Liefield GTFO - I just died in your arms tonight. Bonus Marla Elliot.
Mystery Drink Meme - search for all three instances of Batman trying to kryptonite-punch Smallville!Clark.
Things that matter in life - Duh.
Slow motion you guys - sslloowwmmoo
Buy Shamwow or I'll blow things up - as it says
Thomas Elliot insults Bullseye and Carnage - that's right, THOMAS. ELLIOT.
Best Spidey app ever - Now this is a story.

[12:21] <Jillibean> "Jon Osterman/Bruce Wayne, PG-13" ha ha ha oh you.
[12:21] <Terana> Oh, internet.
[12:21] <Terana> No.
[12:22] <Jillibean> written by "bubastis", incidentally.
[12:22] <Jillibean> ... 32 minutes ago?
[12:23] * Terana throws things.
[12:23] <Terana> Damn cat.
[12:24] <Jillibean> hahaha the author's note: "I really have no idea what this is. I've been awake since Thursday night."
[12:24] <Terana> Here, young one. I will help you sleep.
[12:24] <Terana> Forever.
[12:24] <Jillibean> X3
[12:25] <Nix> lol
[12:25] <Jillibean> "Jonathan Osterman is blue. Blue, and he glows. Blue, glowing, and god-like. Blue, glowing, god-like, and speaking of God, God, he looks good in a suit. Plus, he sort of sparkles." nooooooooo
[12:25] <Nix> hahahahaha
[12:25] <Nix> and he is a vampire
[12:25] <Nix> btw
[12:25] <Terana> rghgsa
[12:27] <Nix> Rorschach: Hurm. Would not have suspected. Manhattan a homosexual. Perhaps why miss Juspecyk dresses so provocatively.
[12:27] <Terana> pfff.
[12:28] <Terana> "A homosexual body and a heterosexual one contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference"
[12:30] <Tod> it could contain more particles, if you know what I'm sayin'
[12:30] <Tod> ><
[12:30] <Jillibean> lulz
[12:30] <Nix> hahahahaha
[12:30] <Terana> "...shut up, Adrian."

<Rahne42> Swamp Thing's adorable.
<Terana> Oosa cyoot widdle earth elemental?
<Jillibean> Snerk.
<Slarti> snork
<Jillibean> Bette: This bean sprout is adorable! :D
<Kai> John: *Pours water on it B|*
<Jillibean> Blake: *pours beer on it B|*
<Slarti> Blake's intestinal flora: *have a mild spontaneous revolt*
<Jillibean> bean sprout: *magically changes to pot plant on John's birthday!*

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<Jillian> .... Damnit, Hellblazer. (nsfw 4chan link that has expired and everyone is happier for it)
<Shard> ...
<Shard> That's disturbing.
<Skylanth> ew ugh, why did I CLICK
<Nix> you know, Jill, when I saw that link I was about to type "*crosses fingers and hopes for dog sex*"
<Jillian> hahahahaha
<Nix> but it's somehow less funny when it's true

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* Ziggy is doubtful about tapioca's stainingness.
<Pink> Tapioca is serious business, man. Serious. Business.
<Hastur> erm. Never having had tapioca invade my clothing, I can't say.
<Ziggy> ...Clothing invasion by tapioca. Hm.
<Jillibean> tapioca: *cousins of the Source?*
<Kai> Tapioca: Why everyone hate us ;___;
<Jillibean> I wub tapioca pudding >:3
<Kai> ... So apparently, Tarzan-speak cousin of The Source
<Jillibean> hahahaha
<Kai> Tapioca: Yay! Tapioca am loved! We so happy! :D
<Mephron> Tapioca: the Bizarro-Source.
<Jillibean> snrk.
<Kai> Note to self: stop playing foodstuffs, it'll make The Condiment King REALLY WEIRD to play
<Kai> ... not that I'm planning to >_>
<Jillibean> hahahahaha kai
<Jillibean> I can see him now, with his little cart.
<Jillibean> Tim tackles him on sheer principle.
<Kai> Hahahaha
<Kai> CK: Wha- NO! Taken off the menu before my entree!
* Jillibean dead
<Kai> So I shouldn't make him for the big upcoming RP event is what you're saying
<Kai> ... Or Battle Royale 2
<Jillibean> pfffhahahahaha
<Jillibean> Kevin: ... :9
<Kai> CK: D: Don't you get saucy with me!

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And now, conversations between Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, as found by Kay. Faaaascinating.
But hey. Why so serious, Tara Banks? And gee, just who is Norman talking about...?

Can you guess where these are fro--/co/. Also, if you squint, there's DC-related material in there. Shut up, I keep forgetting to save quotes from the channel.



WHAT IF... THE DAILY BUGLE WERE ACTUALLY A FRENCH BAKERY?
I want crepes! Crepes shaped like Spider-Man!

WHAT IF HANK PYM WAS ACTUALLY USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE FOR ONCE?

WHAT IF... PETER PARKER HAD LIVED IN THE 18TH CENTURY?
Parker, I want woodcuts! Woodcuts of Spider-Man!

WHAT IF... INSTEAD OF BEING THE SORCERER SUPREME, DR. STRANGE WAS A SUPREME PIZZA?

WHAT IF CYCLOP'S FORCE BLASTS TURNED PEOPLE GAY?

WHAT IF... THE THING WAS A REAL ESTATE AGENT AND ALSO A NINJA, BUT ONLY AT NIGHT WHEN A SEPARATE PERSONALITY TOOK OVER? ALSO, HE COULD BREATHE UNDERWATER & HAD A PET PTERODACTYL?
Go back to bed, Grant.

WHAT IF... PETER PARKER WAS BITTEN BY ANOTHER SMALLER SPIDER-MAN?

WHAT IF... NAMOR PUT ON SOME GODDAMN PANTS?

WHAT IF... WHAT IF J JONAH JAMESON BECAME THE HERALD OF GALACTUS?
PARKER! I WANT PLANETS... PLANETS WITH SPIDER-MAN!

WHAT IF... CABLE DIDN'T HAVE ANY POUCHES?

WHAT IF... A JOKE WASN'T RUN INTO THE GROUND?

WHAT IF... WE JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER, I'M NOT SAYING WE SHOULD GET HITCHED OR ANYTHING BUT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, AND WE COULD SPLIT THE RENT AND OH GOD THIS IS SO AWKWARD IN SO MANY WAYS

WHAT IF THE LIZARD THREW A ROCK AT SPIDER-MAN! IT'S A BIG ROCK!

WHAT IF THE PUNISHER WAS ACTUALLY A RENEGADE DENTAL ASSISTANT?

WHAT IF... WE TOOK THIS CARROT CAKE, AND CUT IT INTO SMALL CUBES, AND THEN WE - GET THIS - WE PUT THOSE FUCKING CARROT CAKE CUBES INTO A BOWL - STAY WITH ME NOW THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS INTENSE - AND THEN WE POUR MOTHER FUCKING MILK ON THE CARROT CAKE CUBES. WHAT IF WE DID THAT.

<Jeri> the little like...side thingie that went along with Civil War? I guess they just call it a Special
<Kaybird> only if she gets horribly broken somehow
<Terana> Or a One-Shot, yeah.
<Kaybird> and no one is going to help me do THAT, right. ...RIGHT?
<Jeri> n....o D:
<Jeri> unless we get a hawkeye.
<Terana> Nope. Never.
<Terana> Ahahaha.
<Kaybird> HAHAH
<Kaybird> if we get a Vision we can just blame him
<Kaybird> for everything
<Kaybird> ever
<Jeri> HAHA
<Jeri> good
<Terana> Aw. :(
<Jillian> wait, so Blake's dad is Nergal, right? So, Blake could romance Wanda wildly (WILDLY) and AMBIGUOUSLY HAVE TWO KIDS WITH HER and then, One More Day with Planned Parenthood. :3? :3?
<Kai> John: *Swats* >:/
<Jillian> Blake: My bad. D:
<Jeri> HAHAH
<Jillian> Blake: That is— "My dad D:", rather.
<Kai> John: ... There's no call fer punning.

* Jillian claws her way through screencaps... AAAAAAHHH THE SPICE MUST FLOW
<Jillian> WHY DOES THE SPICE ALWAYS FLOW, SLARTI.
<Kay> D:
<Kaimibbit> Ahahahahahahaha BECAUSE IT MUST
<Slarti> hahaha
<Slarti> Because R'as al-Ghul commands it!
* Jillian exports the al Ghuls to Arrakis; they would OBVIOUSLY be more at home there.
<Slarti> haha Yes.
<Slarti> Water of Life, Lazarus Pit...

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<Rahne42> Call it the Frank Castle in my, but sometimes, jail is about keeping society safe, and sometimes jail is because some people should just /rot/
<Rahne42> in me, rather
<Jillian> Frank Castle? in MY persona?
* Slarti pictures that with Frank shooting himself in the head to unleash the Punisher as some sort of super-powered Persona.
<RayStar> I read that as "Call it the Frank Castle in my butt"
<Jillian> hahahaha IS THAT YOU, GRANT?

Not really. Haw haw. It's just that lately, we've been caught up in the Iron Man frenzy and most of the quotes have little or nothing to do with the DCU, except for when Batman makes things in a cave, out of scrap metal (FROM STARK ENTERPRISES, THAT IS). But /co/ also loves Rorschach.

I am one of the four posters. Can you guess which one? Pic unrelated.

And now it's time for! RECENTLY OVERHEARD ON THE INTARWEBS.

• "CLARK IS MADE OF TINY CONFUSED KITTENS THAT BARELY UNDERSTAND THE WORLD AROUND THEM."
• "Dick Grayson is enough of a slut that he is no longer a valid form of identifying a character's sexuality."
• "There is absolutely no significant board that will not, at the drop of a hat, have a Phoenix Wright thread."
• "What kind of world do we live in where a zombie can't shave a sheep in his own living room without fear of recrimination?"
• "Obama/Dent 2008. Take back Gotham City. Take back America."

If you can correctly identify where each quote comes from (scans_daily, /co/, or the channel), you will win a free Rorschach in a fridge.

"It's a twist: Metropolis IS Gotham during the day, and Gotham is Metropolis at night. So living in one is the as living in the other. WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THAT ONE!"

"Go back to bed, Grant."

• observe! the perils of the multiverse.
• well, Lex, that's what you get.
• BREAKING NEWS! Tony Stark is Bruce Wayne!

( much talk of Green Lanterns, and also of J'onn, who is green. )

Has "my parents are dead!!!" been beaten to death already? NO. NEVER.

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Dear Simon Dark: ........... what
- fhjklfhdjahjwhj
- ?!

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Swamp Thing: Elemental. Defender of the Green. Scenester.

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WHAT IF? J.J. Jameson were part of the DC universe?
- short version
- long version

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<Slarti> Oh, hey, look, the last thing I said, according to my command buffer, was: <Slarti> (And, due to recent comics, I say again: God*dammit*, Grant...)
<Jillibean> lulz
<Slarti> Can we please get someone to adjust his dose? Someone? Please?
<Terana> People have tried, Slarti. But any mere mortal who gets within arms' length of him gets high by proxy. :(
<Terana> ...really, it's sort of why DC keeps him around.

<Slarti> I really wish the dialogue, during the Darkseid/Superman fight, where Darkseid's flipping out about Superman daring to touch him, had been written so Superman replied, "Superman dares all, Darkseid!"
<Slarti> It wouldn't really have made up for the idiocy of the fight, but it would've at least been mildly funny.
* Jillian then pictures Superman lounging casually on Mary Marvel's couch, eating all the nachos, rearranging her TiVo, x-raying her walls for lead in the paint, etc.

( We took all of the continuity from both DC and Marvel. They can't be trusted with it anymore. )

<Slarti> snork. Google Image Searching for "Rip Hunter" (including the quotes, so it's a single string) also gets me hints for "RIP, Hunter S. Thompson"
<Me> hahaha, yeah, I was just dealing with that
<Me> incidentally, a Flickr image search somehow also turns up a picture of Jesus. OH SH--
<Slarti> hahaha
<Slarti> Rip: Now you know why I don't tell anyone my real name, BOOSTER. B|


(another image search result...)

JLA Alternate Universe Sex Scandal!!

"Justice League members (hur hur) were recently dismayed by the discovery of alternate versions of themselves stemming from a hitherto unknown universe which has since been dubbed Earth 3some. [...]"

Contains unlawful swipe of a picture with link to its original poster.

Also, sex. Contains sex. SCANDALOUS SEX.

At scans_daily, commenters discuss the DCU writers' use of Luthor to vent their frustration at the American people for voting for Bush:

davidkevin: Truth be told I'd prefer Lex Luthor and Pete Ross to the monsters who usurped the Presidency and Vice Presidency in this universe.

dave_littler: It's tough to point at any single thing President Luthor ever did in office that's worse than what Bush has done. I admit I'm not a big DCU fan, but did he ever do anything which racked up 1,000,000 innocent deaths? If not, Bush has got that on him.

ezrael: Bush didn't inject himself with liquid kryptonite mixed with Bane's venom.

I'm not saying he wouldn't, merely that he didn't.

( Now with 20% more Rip Hunter. )

... so you don't have to!

• For some reason I finished this thread with, "it's only a model".
  
  
• LEX. That's terrible.
  
  
• Have you ever wondered about the outcome of a fight between the Question and Kira from Death Note? ... Yeah, me either.
  
  
• Bah! Get! Get! Shoo!
  
  
• Booster: Well, in the future—
  (Starman crashes through wall)
  Starman: OH YEAH!
  
  
• D'aww. Creeper/Harley OTP.
  
  
• Can anybody tell this man who he is?
  
  
• Bonus, not-even-DC pic: this is cute, but what the crap is going on here??
  
  
• Okay, serious warning. If you don't wanna cry at work or whatever, then don't click this. Unless you're an unsentimental bastard like Slarti, in which case, go on, click it, see if it MELTS YOUR TIN HEART.
  
  
• To apologize for the above, let's do a barrel roll.

<j> also, I like that of course, Roy has to be the one to ask the big question.
<j> because ONLY ROY would know, since ONLY ROY has EVER DONE DRUGS, EVER
<j> (Hourman: >_>)

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<s> I was amused that the person who (almost, were it not for Batman's dialogue-stomping) was recognizing Superman as high as a kite... was Roy "Speedy the Heroin Addict" Harper.
<j> HAHAHA SEE

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<b> Oh yes, we still need Swamp Thing/Pete Wentz.
<r> We DO
<b> Patrick makes a stew for an ill Pete, not realising he has chopped and cooked in some /very special tubers/.
<d> . . .
<r> jhbnk

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<s> ["I'm not a god. *takes off cowl* I'm a man."   "Holy crap, you're Bruce Wayne!"   "...Shit."]
<s> ["Well, Bruce, I could always wipe their m--"   "asfhsdofwogwo"]

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<b> COUNTDOWN IS MULTIVERSAL FOREPLAY.