<Karra> Hm.
<Slarti> What I wonder is.
<Slarti> Did he dye his hair, or are we supposed to believe that he ~*plastic surgeoned*~ black hair instead of red?
<Kai> Huh, I guess he looks kinda like Bruce, if Bruce had almost entirely black, soulless pits for eyes.
<Karra> Which is crazier?
<Karra> And more illogical?
<Kai> A wizard did it.
<Slarti> Best Self-Operating Plastic Surgeon In The World
<Karra> Theory: Hush stalked Bruce Wayne's barber for...a year or so, and transplanted the follicles into his own head, and THEN he got Poison Ivy to make him some Fancy Herbal Shampoo that turns transplanted hair into your own.
<Jillian> countdown to Bruce!Hush/Batman porn in 3...2...

---

<Karra> part of me
<Karra> hopes hush DOES secretly replace Batman with his folgers crystal
<Slarti> So, pretty much the same thing as Final Crisis, only Batman-specific.
<Slarti> I don't want to know about Hush's Folger's Crystal.

<Jillian> ........... /co/. Why have you turned Jason Todd into Candlejack. God, I'm not even going to DO the whole "abduction" thing it's so overdo
<YumeFhtagn> *snerk*
* Mephron has joined #basementooc
<Terana> XD
<takhys> Don't say his name or you'll invoke him again.
<takhys> omg.
<takhys> Meph is Candlejack. I always kne
<Badge> LOLS
<Terana> Wait, so Candlejack is Mephro
<Badge> Doesn't that mean that saying Mephron's name result in your sen
* Candlejack has joined #basementooc
<Candlejack> DO I NEED TO CHARTER A BUS?

---

* Candlejack is now known as Guest33190
<Jillian> HAHAhaha
<Terana> XD
<Guest33190> Who took my name?
<Jillian> clearly, Batman took it.

---

<Slarti> LOL. "Have you ever thought about co-writing with Grant Morrison?"   "God, no, that man's on drugs! He's just sitting there going 'The cornflakes are talking to me.'"
* Slarti pictures Warren whacking Grant with his cane until Grant takes his meds.

---

Incidentally, did you know Alé Garza's favorite music? Highlight to find out! "i'm really into ho-down music. there is no greater sound than blowing into a jug. hoohoohoohoohoo"

Can you guess where these are fro--/co/. Also, if you squint, there's DC-related material in there. Shut up, I keep forgetting to save quotes from the channel.



WHAT IF... THE DAILY BUGLE WERE ACTUALLY A FRENCH BAKERY?
I want crepes! Crepes shaped like Spider-Man!

WHAT IF HANK PYM WAS ACTUALLY USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE FOR ONCE?

WHAT IF... PETER PARKER HAD LIVED IN THE 18TH CENTURY?
Parker, I want woodcuts! Woodcuts of Spider-Man!

WHAT IF... INSTEAD OF BEING THE SORCERER SUPREME, DR. STRANGE WAS A SUPREME PIZZA?

WHAT IF CYCLOP'S FORCE BLASTS TURNED PEOPLE GAY?

WHAT IF... THE THING WAS A REAL ESTATE AGENT AND ALSO A NINJA, BUT ONLY AT NIGHT WHEN A SEPARATE PERSONALITY TOOK OVER? ALSO, HE COULD BREATHE UNDERWATER & HAD A PET PTERODACTYL?
Go back to bed, Grant.

WHAT IF... PETER PARKER WAS BITTEN BY ANOTHER SMALLER SPIDER-MAN?

WHAT IF... NAMOR PUT ON SOME GODDAMN PANTS?

WHAT IF... WHAT IF J JONAH JAMESON BECAME THE HERALD OF GALACTUS?
PARKER! I WANT PLANETS... PLANETS WITH SPIDER-MAN!

WHAT IF... CABLE DIDN'T HAVE ANY POUCHES?

WHAT IF... A JOKE WASN'T RUN INTO THE GROUND?

WHAT IF... WE JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER, I'M NOT SAYING WE SHOULD GET HITCHED OR ANYTHING BUT I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP, AND WE COULD SPLIT THE RENT AND OH GOD THIS IS SO AWKWARD IN SO MANY WAYS

WHAT IF THE LIZARD THREW A ROCK AT SPIDER-MAN! IT'S A BIG ROCK!

WHAT IF THE PUNISHER WAS ACTUALLY A RENEGADE DENTAL ASSISTANT?

WHAT IF... WE TOOK THIS CARROT CAKE, AND CUT IT INTO SMALL CUBES, AND THEN WE - GET THIS - WE PUT THOSE FUCKING CARROT CAKE CUBES INTO A BOWL - STAY WITH ME NOW THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS INTENSE - AND THEN WE POUR MOTHER FUCKING MILK ON THE CARROT CAKE CUBES. WHAT IF WE DID THAT.

* Jillian claws her way through screencaps... AAAAAAHHH THE SPICE MUST FLOW
<Jillian> WHY DOES THE SPICE ALWAYS FLOW, SLARTI.
<Kay> D:
<Kaimibbit> Ahahahahahahaha BECAUSE IT MUST
<Slarti> hahaha
<Slarti> Because R'as al-Ghul commands it!
* Jillian exports the al Ghuls to Arrakis; they would OBVIOUSLY be more at home there.
<Slarti> haha Yes.
<Slarti> Water of Life, Lazarus Pit...

---

<Rahne42> Call it the Frank Castle in my, but sometimes, jail is about keeping society safe, and sometimes jail is because some people should just /rot/
<Rahne42> in me, rather
<Jillian> Frank Castle? in MY persona?
* Slarti pictures that with Frank shooting himself in the head to unleash the Punisher as some sort of super-powered Persona.
<RayStar> I read that as "Call it the Frank Castle in my butt"
<Jillian> hahahaha IS THAT YOU, GRANT?

The state of relations between two of Batman's rogue gallery. (SFW)


<Jillian> here is Trickster. he is dead ;__; but it is ok, he is in a better place (... un...less he isn't, and he pops up again in the upcoming Hell storyline)
<Kitling> Those are some awesome shoes he has
<Jillian> Piper and his STUPID KEYTAR B|
<Kitling> Keytar: :(
<Slarti> haha
<Jillian> he has his rat friend :>
<Jillian> ok the keytar does ONE useful thing and that is subtly disguise how gay his pants are. ..... by being SPECTACULARLY gay right in front of them.
<Slarti> And he has goggles, which are neither green sunglasses nor glowing green eyes.
<Jillian> hahahaha SHUT UP SLARTI
<Jillian> DC continuity: *whhOOooOoOOoop!*
<Slarti> Rip's eyes: *keep changing colors*
<Jillian> Piper: *to Rip* can I borrow your eye drops :(
<Slarti> Rip: Just as long as you don't use 'em as sunglasses cleaner.


( In which we speculate about teenager versions of DC characters. )

"It's a twist: Metropolis IS Gotham during the day, and Gotham is Metropolis at night. So living in one is the as living in the other. WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THAT ONE!"

"Go back to bed, Grant."

• observe! the perils of the multiverse.
• well, Lex, that's what you get.
• BREAKING NEWS! Tony Stark is Bruce Wayne!

( much talk of Green Lanterns, and also of J'onn, who is green. )

Has "my parents are dead!!!" been beaten to death already? NO. NEVER.

---

Dear Simon Dark: ........... what
- fhjklfhdjahjwhj
- ?!

---

Swamp Thing: Elemental. Defender of the Green. Scenester.

---

WHAT IF? J.J. Jameson were part of the DC universe?
- short version
- long version

---

<Slarti> Oh, hey, look, the last thing I said, according to my command buffer, was: <Slarti> (And, due to recent comics, I say again: God*dammit*, Grant...)
<Jillibean> lulz
<Slarti> Can we please get someone to adjust his dose? Someone? Please?
<Terana> People have tried, Slarti. But any mere mortal who gets within arms' length of him gets high by proxy. :(
<Terana> ...really, it's sort of why DC keeps him around.

... of your favorite comic book creators! As originally presented by /co/, but transcribed for YOU with LOVE.


( Frank Miller )

( Alan Moore )

( Grant Morrison )

( Stan Lee )

( Ed Brubaker )

Finally, Scans_Daily weighs in on the upcoming Capcom vs. DC game:

If someone performs a fatality on Spoiler, does she get a memorial?

Is Dan Didio the final boss? And if so, is Adam Beechen the fatality he performs on Cass?

Do the Superbuddies get special Friendship finishing moves?

Can Barbara Gordon be a Kombatant? Her finishing move can be pressing the A button, then the entire Justice League dog-piles her enemy.

If Superboy-Prime performs his Fatality and punches through time, does the game turn into Street Fighter 2?

Will Ralph and Sue randomly possess the Kombatants and make out?

And the most pressing question of all... is Ambush Bug unlockable?

Hot.

<Slarti> I really wish the dialogue, during the Darkseid/Superman fight, where Darkseid's flipping out about Superman daring to touch him, had been written so Superman replied, "Superman dares all, Darkseid!"
<Slarti> It wouldn't really have made up for the idiocy of the fight, but it would've at least been mildly funny.
* Jillian then pictures Superman lounging casually on Mary Marvel's couch, eating all the nachos, rearranging her TiVo, x-raying her walls for lead in the paint, etc.

( We took all of the continuity from both DC and Marvel. They can't be trusted with it anymore. )

<Jillian> wh.....at
<Kai_> "over 63 metahuman abilities" what, not OVER NIIIIINE THOOOOOOUUUUSAAAAND?
<Kai_> Also I do not think parallel universe probability works that way :(
<Jillian> hahaha WHAT?? OUTRAGEOUS, KAI
<Kai_> "countermeasures against Themysciran magic in the event of an Amazon Attack" O RLY
<Kai_> I wonder if Attack was capitalised BEFORE that series
<Kai_> "He hits Wally West with a beam that takes away his protective aura, so that the very act of running damages him faster than his Healing Factor can keep up with" Wally has what. ... Speed Force >:/
<Terana> EVERYONE has a healing factor, baby.
<Jillian> "Triumph later came under the influence of a malign Thunderbolt named Lkz" .... really. "Lkz"?
<Slarti> Ah, yes.
<Terana> Unless they're wimminz. Then cold temperatures'll neutralise it.
<Terana> *roundabout*
<Jillian> At the end of this arc, the Spectre transformed Triumph into ice and prepared to smash him with a hammer, but was stopped by a compassionated plea by the angel Zauriel.
<Jillian> His ice form was stored in the Justice League headquarters. Grant Morrison, the writer of this story, later destroyed the headquarters, but forgot to remove Triumph from there, presumably killing him in the process.
<Jillian> Yay, Grant!
<Kai_> Thunderbolts need no vowels
<Kai_> And lulz
<Kai_> So the JLA can terraform Mars, but only if the Earth needs evacuating, bitches.
<Terana> Well, you know what they call proactive heroes.
<Terana> Tony Stark.
<Jillian> hahahahaa
<Terana> :(
<Slarti> Thunderbolts are from the 5th Dimension. They don't use vowels; just ask Mxyzptlk.

---

<Jillian> "A brilliant doctor named Dr. Engstrom reconnected his optic nerves to his fingertips, enabling him to see through them." I'm not sure we're all using the same definition of "brilliant", here.
<Kai_> ... Hahaha um
<Terana> Eyes do not work like that. ._.
<Kai_> That's... no.
<Shard> That word you keep using. I do not think it means what you think it means.
<Jillian> "I've reconnected your eyes to your FINGERS!!"     "BRILLIANT!!!!"
<Mattybee> "MAN MASTURBATING IS SO WEIRD NOW >_<"
<Terana> It's a Guinness commercial!
<Kai_> Thanks, Matty, for taking it there
<Mattybee> No problem

---

In other news, Grant Morrison is insane, which we knew but now we know. It's magic!

"I thought he was a trick by Glycon the Roman snake god."

• "Alan Moore believes in Grant Morrison."
  "That's one person, I guess."
• "Alan Moore knows perfectly well that his encounter with Grant Morrison was a drug-induced hallucination, but does not particularly care. The way he sees it, authors are only important in terms of their effect on the human mind, and Moore's mind is exactly where this author comes from."
• "HI MY NAME IS GRANT! I TAKE DRUGS AND THEN WRITE COMICS ABOUT CHARACTERS TAKING DRUGS AND LEARNING THEY'RE IN A COMIC!"

( Let my Swamp Monster Go! )








R.I.P. Piper's former lead weight, James Jesse.