-- Richard Nixon was the best Dick of all time. OF ALL TIME!

---

[11:45] jeri: Jillian, let me say first that I have considered how this sounds
[11:45] jeri: and have already rejected several permutations that are worse
[11:45] jeri: I love Dick

---

[13:20] RW: HOW COULD THEY MAKE HIM A VILLAIN
[13:20] RW: ;_;
[13:21] jilli: cause he has an eyepatch P)
[13:21] RW: )8
[13:21] RW: that is so not fair
[13:21] RW: nick fury's not a villain!
[13:21] jilli: yes he is
[13:21] jilli: oh wait

---

[22:56] kai: Ivy: How sweet. *Sends him cake... laced with belladonna.*
[22:57] jilli: Crane: /doesn't eat cake, how else does he maintain his girlish figure
[22:58] jilli: on the other hand, I find the image of Crane scarfing cake to be hilarious
[22:58] tk: hahaha, scarfing cake
[22:59] tk: Like he's gone without cake for so long that he can't resist anymore, he just goes all out
[22:59] jilli: HAHA
[22:59] kai: XD
[22:59] tk: All "god, what a SHITTY DAY. ...I need a cake." and then he goes and buys a Deep & Delicious frozen cake and sits there eating it alone in his apartment at 2:30 in the morning.

---

- guysquint.jpg
- damn memes
- the government is lying to us!!
- this is old but I love it so much - seriously every time I see it I'm like :D

[00:01] <Jillian> terrible. http://r.xtarsia.net/roph/img/random/1179833987258.jpg
[00:04] <Slarti> ...Jill, that picture, WTF.
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically this page of random pictures is the worst ever and I can't stop looking
[00:05] <Jillibean> Basically it is Takh's fault.
[00:05] <torches> is
[00:05] <torches> that
[00:05] <torches> batman licking an alfred dildo
[00:07] <Metody> An alfredo.
[00:08] <Slarti> >_o
[00:14] <Metody> What else would you call an Alfred dildo?
[00:14] <Metody> It even comes in white sauce!

---

[05:33] jilli: I think pb_updates has unbearded (I just typed "unbreaded") gerard butler as a suggestion for Batman, and I just. The amount of jokes to be made.
[05:33] kay: breaded gerard butler wings
[05:33] kay: thigh of butler
[05:33] kay: ...it's 4 AM
[05:34] kay: also what is wrong with balebatman :(
[05:34] jilli: idk
[05:34] atreyu: Besides "HARRAHFJSHA JOKER HAARAGAG"
[05:34] atreyu: Oh we aren't talking about how he talks then.
[05:34] inthessaly: ... lmao
[05:34] kay: HAHAHA

---

CANON KREEPTONIAN:
"In Justice League of America #1 (2006), Batman convenes a meeting of the Big Three in the Batcave to discuss membership in the new J.L.A. Superman notes that Bruce must be excited, because his pulse rate is in the forties."

[22:35] ariel: TIM GUNN'S HUGS ARE MADE OF UNICORN SIGHS
[22:35] jilli: *
[22:36] anna: ............tim gunn is the best alfred ever
[22:36] anna: batman comes home covered in bruises, bleeding like whoa
[22:36] anna: tim gunn just stands back and goes "this concerns me."

---

[09:47] <Kai> lmao Batman Brave and the Bold
[09:48] <Kai> Ollie: Sounds like you're afraid I'm going to top you again. / Batman: Again? / Ollie: Like always.
[09:48] <Jillian> Pppffffff

---

NONE OF YOU ARE DARKSEID'S BOO! YOU ARE ALL DARKSEID'S SLAVES! ALL OF YOU! HUMANS ARE ALL UNWORTHY OF BOO STATUS!

---

- hope
- I picked this up off the DC kink meme. Whose is it?
- >:(
- D'AWWWWWW
- Spidey vs. THE WALL
- Spidey goes undercover

Not Always Right: Guess who answers the phone?
Amazing powers.

---

[20:39] <Jillian> pfffft
[20:39] <WorkRya> A-at least he isn't eating it sideways. Just ...pierced.
[20:40] <Anniepants> Without actually seeing the picture, Ray, that comment blows my mind.
[20:40] <Yarns> so
[20:40] <Yarns> not clicking that, then

---

[17:23] * Jillibean is checking to see if there is another Gotham DR, and runs across the "foxylucius" comm with the subtitle "Touch Mah Nopples Botmon".
[17:23] <Bobo> ................................
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAT
[17:23] <Bobo> WHAAAAAT
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> jill
[17:23] <Cait> what the hell
[17:23] <Bobo> AAAAAAA
[17:23] <Jillibean> :>
[17:23] <Treyuonaship> please tell me you just made that up
[17:23] <Jillibean> I did not
[17:23] <Slarti> ...
[17:23] <Slarti> Well.
[17:24] <Slarti> My, my.
[17:24] <Slarti> Isn't that something.

- hideous Riddler videos
- so happy together
- re: the reference in a recent Riddler comic by xanykaos
- the Question and Rorschach also by xanykaos

---

[17:20] flik: Does Ra's have a son in the comics? :o
[17:20] kai: you mean besides Talia?
[17:20] kai: *bricked*
[17:20] flik: XD
[17:20] jilli: I don't thi--pffff
[17:20] sho: XDDD
[17:21] flik: Well
[17:21] flik: She SORT OF becomes his son in Batman Beyond, I guess
[17:21] kai: ..............
[17:21] jilli: ha! so true
[17:21] sho: o.0
[17:21] flik: In a really messed up twisted kinda way?
[17:21] kai: wow, thanks for the reminder of that
[17:21] flik: Ra's takes over her body >.>
[17:21] kai: sob Ra's, so creepy
[17:21] flik: And, uh, makes out with Bruce in it
[17:21] flik: So I hear
[17:21] kai: yes .____.
[17:22] sho: O.O
[17:22] flik: I missed that episode apparently :<
[17:22] flik: I HAVE TO YOUTUBE IT
[17:22] jilli: just one kiss >_>
[17:22] flik: That's all it takes
[17:22] jilli: haha
[17:22] kai: XD
[17:22] flik: YOU KNOW HE'D BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT FOR DECADES

---

[16:49] <Kai> kai: he is the trampiest Robin
[16:49] <Kai> sara: He really is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: but
[16:49] <Kai> sara: look who his mother is
[16:49] <Kai> sara: /:
[16:49] <Kai> kai: XD point
[16:49] <Kai> sara: lol
[16:49] <Kai> kai: You know what, I would have loved to see Jason tell Damian he'd banged his mother
[16:49] <Kai> sara: oh
[16:49] <Kai> sara: my
[16:49] <Kai> sara: god
[16:49] <Kai> sara: that would be nothing short of amazing
[16:49] <Bobo> Oracle: *expertly photoshops Talia into all sorts of compromising positions for this purpose*
[16:50] <Bobo> Talia: D: noes they be questionin my virtuez
[16:50] <Jillibean> Terry: Shut up, /Ra's/.

[21:36] <Kai> Ahahaha I saw and it's lovely <3 Reading Countdown has me in a MOST UNSEXY MOOD but I shall see what I can do XD
[21:37] <Jillian> HAHHAHAHA
[21:37] <Jillian> Oh Countdown
[21:37] <Jillian> more like Cockblockdown amirite
[21:38] <Kai> Hahaha seriously
[21:38] <Kai> Jason: *Acts like a jilted lover when Kyle shows up.*
[21:39] <Jillian> Kyle: *giant green chicken*
[21:40] <Kai> Jason: *Punches B|*
[21:40] <Jillian> man I should read Kyle's stuff. He's such a derp, he's like the worst GL ever and his poor girlfriend in the fridge.
[21:40] <Jillian> Kyle: *blocks... with chicken* 8D
[21:40] <Kai> Hahahaha
[21:41] <Kai> Jason: ... Damn it >:|
[21:41] <Jillian> Donna: Guyyyyysss quit it *bitchwhine*
[21:42] <Kai> Jason: ... *Shoots in the face*
[21:42] <Jillian> snork
[21:43] <Jillian> WHAT IT WAS AT THE LOWEST SETTING !!!!!! GEEZ GUYS >:O
[21:43] <Kai> YEAH GEEZ AND BOB UNCLOAKED IT
[21:43] <Kai> be...cause he could read Jason's intent
[21:43] <Jillian> if you know what I mean
[21:43] <Kai> They made a ~connection~
[21:43] <Jillian> IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

---

[21:44] <Jillian> You should write a Very Secret Diary for Jason all during Countdown.
[21:45] <Kai> pfffhahaha
[21:46] <Kai> "Donna's neckline changed again. More boobs, sweet."
[21:46] <Jillian> hahahahah
[21:46] <Slarti> "Still not Batman."
[21:46] <Kai> XD
[21:46] <Jillian> HAHA yes thank you Slarti
[21:47] <Kai> Jason: "This issue Kyle turned into a horrible vampiric monster demon thing. Finally shut up."
[21:48] <Jillian> Kyle: "This issue I turned into a horrible vampiric monster demon thing. Jason smelled delicious. Was horrified into silence."

---

[14:43] <Jillibean> hahahahahahha
[14:45] <Slarti> snorrrrt
[14:45] * Jillibean cries laughing at Jaime
[14:47] <Jillibean> I'M THE PRETTIEST TIME PRINCESS B|
[14:48] <Slarti> hahaha

---

- "Ooh Captain America: a fan-fiction"
- Canon Kreeptonian
- B-belt buckle lmao
- Aww.jpg
- Auugh.jpg

<Bobo> Candlejack, you have the ability to spread great fe

- the only thing Liefield has ever drawn well
- Batman is the master of one more art
- Hey! What're you doin--
- The facts of life
- And that's why I registered
- Everybody loves Dick
- For some reason, I laughed harder when I thought it said "paper"
- Subtle shopping
- The Anti-Life Engine
- "He's gonna fuck up people's shit in Blackest Night."
- Killing Wolverine
- YYYYEEEEEAAHHHHHHHHH.
- Mr. Freeze vs. Captain Cold
- Um... is it Batman?
- Pictures of pictures
- We love you, Green Lantern!

Ever since I started playing at capeandcowl I have been completely distracted. Here are some hilarious DC-related links from our spam comm.

Dating Chart meme - look for Batman's, I think on the third page.
Like a Boss - okay, fine, this is totally about Iron Man and not anything to do with DC.
Tags relevant - in which we talk about the Riddler.
Cry Wolf - the game also known as werewolf or mafia. Watch who dies! See who is a wolf! O, the drama!
Trailer Triplets - what would happen if Bullseye, Carnage, and Black Mask lived together in a trailer park? They get drawn as cats, that's what.
Moar kitties - what it says
Demotivational Meme - "Breasts: Because you can't motorboat personalities".
The Disneyland Meme - everyfuckingbody goes to Disneyland, all right?
Liefield GTFO - I just died in your arms tonight. Bonus Marla Elliot.
Mystery Drink Meme - search for all three instances of Batman trying to kryptonite-punch Smallville!Clark.
Things that matter in life - Duh.
Slow motion you guys - sslloowwmmoo
Buy Shamwow or I'll blow things up - as it says
Thomas Elliot insults Bullseye and Carnage - that's right, THOMAS. ELLIOT.
Best Spidey app ever - Now this is a story.

<Jeribot> OH MAN did you see someone on my intro post was like 'Now I want to play Hellboy! Except I don't have time!' and I was like "No of course not! You should never! I MEAN. YES. DO IT."
<Slarti> That person could play Hellboy, but then due to lack of time, he's always busy off somewhere else, having his own standalone adventures while the rest of the BPRD gets fucked up by frogs and under-dwellers.
<Jeribot> hahah
<Slarti> Not that I'm making any particular sort of meta-commentary, *Mike*.

---

<Jillibean> I don't know why this makes me laugh.
<Jillibean> I think it's because the mudkip is like :|
<Kai> XD
<Slarti> The mudkip's true purpose... is *sinister*.

---

<RayCookies> Me and Frank Miller
<RayCookies> we're like (crosses fingers)
<RayCookies> This
<Jillian> his whores are your whores
<RayCookies> (nods sagely) Dude, once. He even let me burn one up in a vat of butterscotch
<RayCookies> We drank fizzless cola
<Jillian> snork
<RayCookies> and nodded to each other

<Jillian> ... /co/. No. (Why did I start reading again??)
<Jillian> "Sailor Moon Written by Frank Miller
<Jillian> What would it be like? Would you read it?"
<Rahne42> .......
<Slarti> hahahah
<Slarti> "By the Power of the Goddamned Moon..."
<Jillian> hahahaha
<Kaa> fast hands, big mouth...
<Jillian> at least the whores are already written in? *ducks*

---

<Jillian> ................... is anyone following Final Crisis
<Jillian> not that it matters because I'm going to WTF right now about Inertia's magical girl transformation
<Slarti> Nooooo, it's a trap!
<Jillian> hfjdshfkjsdh goddamnit Piper turned himself in. fuck your conscience! anti-life equation, Piper! garharkjdhfjkd. >:O
<Slarti> Yeah, but Jill, acknowledging that Piper has Anti-Life would mean acknowledging Countdown.
<Slarti> And do you really want to do that?
<Jillian> Libra totally said it! It's too late!
<Slarti> Who? I don't know who you're talking about. In fact, I'm not even sure what comics you're referring to. Are you sure you're feeling all right?


No. No, I'm not feeling all right at all. ;___; But this makes me feel better.

Oh man. This is all I got.

Well, and Eddie, who has apparently finally been outriddled. Will this cause him to take overwrought and oversized revenge on the entire earth?

What would Grant Morrison think?

Also, though this is not strictly comics business and everybody knows about it already, I love Warren Ellis's Twitter. This is one of my favorite sequences thus far:

• Guess who this is. Hint: it's our favorite joke.
  
• .... is this for real
  
• MADAGASCAR!!!
  
• this just looks awkward.
  
• Fucking d'awwww (baby what)

Now, more daily schedules of comic book writers!

Will Eisner
12:00 AM - 5:38 PM - DEAD
5:39 PM - 5:42 PM - Slightly rolls in his grave.
5:43 PM - 11:59 PM - DEAD

Garth Ennis
5:30 am: Wake up, take piss
6:00 am: Eats breakfast while making dick jokes to his pet dog
7:00 am - 9:00 AM: PENISPENISPENIS
10 to Noon: Hits someone with car to get pictures of gore
12:30 pm - 1:00 pm: THEY PUT THE SIGHTS ON TOP FOR A REASON
1:00-2:00 pm: Hangs out with Billy next door, lights stuff on fire
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm: Grabs another man's crotch for no apparent reason
3:00 pm to 4:00 pm: Writes some Punisher MAX, is sure to include lots of penis jokes.
4:00 pm to 5:00 pm: Mom calls me up to dinner =(
6:00 pm to 7:00 pm: Writes more Punisher Max
7:00 pm-12:00 am: I NEED A DOZEN ASIAN WHORES
12:00 am to 5:30 am: Sleep

<Jillian> ........... /co/. Why have you turned Jason Todd into Candlejack. God, I'm not even going to DO the whole "abduction" thing it's so overdo
<YumeFhtagn> *snerk*
* Mephron has joined #basementooc
<Terana> XD
<takhys> Don't say his name or you'll invoke him again.
<takhys> omg.
<takhys> Meph is Candlejack. I always kne
<Badge> LOLS
<Terana> Wait, so Candlejack is Mephro
<Badge> Doesn't that mean that saying Mephron's name result in your sen
* Candlejack has joined #basementooc
<Candlejack> DO I NEED TO CHARTER A BUS?

---

* Candlejack is now known as Guest33190
<Jillian> HAHAhaha
<Terana> XD
<Guest33190> Who took my name?
<Jillian> clearly, Batman took it.

---

<Slarti> LOL. "Have you ever thought about co-writing with Grant Morrison?"   "God, no, that man's on drugs! He's just sitting there going 'The cornflakes are talking to me.'"
* Slarti pictures Warren whacking Grant with his cane until Grant takes his meds.

---

Incidentally, did you know Alé Garza's favorite music? Highlight to find out! "i'm really into ho-down music. there is no greater sound than blowing into a jug. hoohoohoohoohoo"

<Rahne42> Swamp Thing's adorable.
<Terana> Oosa cyoot widdle earth elemental?
<Jillibean> Snerk.
<Slarti> snork
<Jillibean> Bette: This bean sprout is adorable! :D
<Kai> John: *Pours water on it B|*
<Jillibean> Blake: *pours beer on it B|*
<Slarti> Blake's intestinal flora: *have a mild spontaneous revolt*
<Jillibean> bean sprout: *magically changes to pot plant on John's birthday!*

---

<Jillian> .... Damnit, Hellblazer. (nsfw 4chan link that has expired and everyone is happier for it)
<Shard> ...
<Shard> That's disturbing.
<Skylanth> ew ugh, why did I CLICK
<Nix> you know, Jill, when I saw that link I was about to type "*crosses fingers and hopes for dog sex*"
<Jillian> hahahahaha
<Nix> but it's somehow less funny when it's true

---

* Ziggy is doubtful about tapioca's stainingness.
<Pink> Tapioca is serious business, man. Serious. Business.
<Hastur> erm. Never having had tapioca invade my clothing, I can't say.
<Ziggy> ...Clothing invasion by tapioca. Hm.
<Jillibean> tapioca: *cousins of the Source?*
<Kai> Tapioca: Why everyone hate us ;___;
<Jillibean> I wub tapioca pudding >:3
<Kai> ... So apparently, Tarzan-speak cousin of The Source
<Jillibean> hahahaha
<Kai> Tapioca: Yay! Tapioca am loved! We so happy! :D
<Mephron> Tapioca: the Bizarro-Source.
<Jillibean> snrk.
<Kai> Note to self: stop playing foodstuffs, it'll make The Condiment King REALLY WEIRD to play
<Kai> ... not that I'm planning to >_>
<Jillibean> hahahahaha kai
<Jillibean> I can see him now, with his little cart.
<Jillibean> Tim tackles him on sheer principle.
<Kai> Hahahaha
<Kai> CK: Wha- NO! Taken off the menu before my entree!
* Jillibean dead
<Kai> So I shouldn't make him for the big upcoming RP event is what you're saying
<Kai> ... Or Battle Royale 2
<Jillibean> pfffhahahahaha
<Jillibean> Kevin: ... :9
<Kai> CK: D: Don't you get saucy with me!

---

And now, conversations between Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne, as found by Kay. Faaaascinating.
But hey. Why so serious, Tara Banks? And gee, just who is Norman talking about...?

Now pay tribute to Dadseid!

Batman disapproves. But how bad could it be?

Misty wants to know if she can has an appearance nao. (Answer: nyoro~n.)


<Jillian> hahaha, random fantasy name generator. "Nimblehands"
<Jillian> as last name??
<Slarti> (Little Robin Nimblehands. Known also for his big mouth.)

I had way more quotes, but my computer restarted.

* Jillian claws her way through screencaps... AAAAAAHHH THE SPICE MUST FLOW
<Jillian> WHY DOES THE SPICE ALWAYS FLOW, SLARTI.
<Kay> D:
<Kaimibbit> Ahahahahahahaha BECAUSE IT MUST
<Slarti> hahaha
<Slarti> Because R'as al-Ghul commands it!
* Jillian exports the al Ghuls to Arrakis; they would OBVIOUSLY be more at home there.
<Slarti> haha Yes.
<Slarti> Water of Life, Lazarus Pit...

---

<Rahne42> Call it the Frank Castle in my, but sometimes, jail is about keeping society safe, and sometimes jail is because some people should just /rot/
<Rahne42> in me, rather
<Jillian> Frank Castle? in MY persona?
* Slarti pictures that with Frank shooting himself in the head to unleash the Punisher as some sort of super-powered Persona.
<RayStar> I read that as "Call it the Frank Castle in my butt"
<Jillian> hahahaha IS THAT YOU, GRANT?

The state of relations between two of Batman's rogue gallery. (SFW)


<Jillian> here is Trickster. he is dead ;__; but it is ok, he is in a better place (... un...less he isn't, and he pops up again in the upcoming Hell storyline)
<Kitling> Those are some awesome shoes he has
<Jillian> Piper and his STUPID KEYTAR B|
<Kitling> Keytar: :(
<Slarti> haha
<Jillian> he has his rat friend :>
<Jillian> ok the keytar does ONE useful thing and that is subtly disguise how gay his pants are. ..... by being SPECTACULARLY gay right in front of them.
<Slarti> And he has goggles, which are neither green sunglasses nor glowing green eyes.
<Jillian> hahahaha SHUT UP SLARTI
<Jillian> DC continuity: *whhOOooOoOOoop!*
<Slarti> Rip's eyes: *keep changing colors*
<Jillian> Piper: *to Rip* can I borrow your eye drops :(
<Slarti> Rip: Just as long as you don't use 'em as sunglasses cleaner.


( In which we speculate about teenager versions of DC characters. )

"It's a twist: Metropolis IS Gotham during the day, and Gotham is Metropolis at night. So living in one is the as living in the other. WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THAT ONE!"

"Go back to bed, Grant."

• observe! the perils of the multiverse.
• well, Lex, that's what you get.
• BREAKING NEWS! Tony Stark is Bruce Wayne!

( much talk of Green Lanterns, and also of J'onn, who is green. )

Has "my parents are dead!!!" been beaten to death already? NO. NEVER.

---

Dear Simon Dark: ........... what
- fhjklfhdjahjwhj
- ?!

---

Swamp Thing: Elemental. Defender of the Green. Scenester.

---

WHAT IF? J.J. Jameson were part of the DC universe?
- short version
- long version

---

<Slarti> Oh, hey, look, the last thing I said, according to my command buffer, was: <Slarti> (And, due to recent comics, I say again: God*dammit*, Grant...)
<Jillibean> lulz
<Slarti> Can we please get someone to adjust his dose? Someone? Please?
<Terana> People have tried, Slarti. But any mere mortal who gets within arms' length of him gets high by proxy. :(
<Terana> ...really, it's sort of why DC keeps him around.